'Til Dreams Do Us Part (Book 2) DISCONTINUED

Chapter 2

Virgil's POV

I woke up having another panic attack. I didn't know why. I assumed it was whatever dream I'd had that I couldn't remember. Roman was still asleep, the sheets of my bed barely covering him. He looked so peaceful, and I didn't want to wake him. I couldn't.

You're hurting Princey with all these panic attacks.

I don't want to hurt him...

Pretty soon, he's going to realize how much of a waste of space you are and leave you.

I couldn't breathe. It felt like my lungs were collapsing. I started to rock back and forth, trying desperately to remember how to breathe.

Roman's POV

I walked around the forest and stopped at the sight of a magnificent castle. I looked up with a wide smile and saw Virgil on the tallest tower. Just like a princess, I thought to myself. I was about to call up to him when...

He jumped.

I screamed. Tears streaming over my face, all I could do was watch as he fell.

———

I threw my eyes open. I instantly heard Virgil's gasps. Shit. How did I not wake up sooner? I sat up and took hold of his hands. "You're going to be okay. All you need to do is breathe; that's the only thing worth worrying about right now."

His breathing didn't slow—didn't ease in the slightest; it might have even gotten worse. He took his hands from mine to pressed them against the sides of his head. His eyes were squeezed shut.

"You can't fight me on this." I should have woken up. How long has he been like this? I knew what I could do, but I also knew he'd hate me for it. "I'm sorry," I whispered, even though I was sure he hadn't heard me. I pulled his hands away from his head and held them. He squirmed, mumbling, "No," under his breath, but I held his wrists and rubbed my thumbs over his scars.

Virge froze in an instant. His head shot up at me. His eyes were wide, and his breathing had stopped altogether.

"I'm sorry. I need you to breathe, though. You're going to be okay."

"Why?" he asked breathlessly. "Why would you—"

"I know—I know you hate it, but you were so far into your own head. I didn't know what else to do. You scared me."

Virgil's POV

As soon as Roman touched my wrists, the memory of making those marks flashed in my head, quickly followed by the memory of when he'd first seen them.

———

I was having another panic attack. This was back when they first started getting more frequent. Princey had started holding my hands to help me calm down. It was that night, our "first night together," if you know what I mean. I woke up from a dream—a hallucination of Deceit with his horrible words and actions. The panic attack was bad—one of the worst ones I'd had in a long time—and Roman had no idea what to do. He'd looked down—I'm not sure what he expected to see—and saw my wrists. The scars were stark white against my skin. He went to touch them, and I was instantly aware of everything around me.

"When did you do this?" he'd asked me in a whisper.

My panic attack was gone. I was just numb now, staring at my wrists as he did the same. "Years ago. I haven't thought about doing anything like that since." It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that. I'd looked up and met his eyes, seeing pain and fear and sadness.

———

Ever since then, whenever I was too far gone, Roman would ghost his hands over my scars and bring me back to reality. I hated it, but I understood.

"I know—I know you hate it, but you were so far into your own head," Princey explained. "I didn't know what else to do. You scared me."

I hugged him. "It's fine. I'm okay. Thank you." But, I wasn't fine. Stuff like this hadn't happened for years, but, almost immediately after I started dating Roman, my old and anxious feelings came to surface again. But, what could I do? Without Roman, I was nothing. There was no one who could handle my panic attacks as well as him.

Even so, the thoughts from my panic attack wouldn't leave me.

He'll leave you. Just you wait.