Toddlers and Traumas

Chapter One : Becky's Version of How to Survive the McLeens

Hi. My name is Becky McLeen.

I may look normal, but I'm not. See, I'm only eight years old, yet I feel like the only mature one in the family.

Mom is too much of a softie. The twins' puppy eyes may work on her, but it won't fool me.

And don't get me started on Dad. His cocky attitude runs through the family. So it's only logical that the twins and I posses the same attitude. I just hope Layla won't get it too.

Ah, scratch that. Layla already got the "Salt and Pepper" too. That's the nickname I give for the virus, because, well, the name matches the topic anyway, so why not?

In the family, no one gets along. The only thing that proves that we are indeed a family, setting aside our appearance, is our love for books. So, that concludes :

Rule #1 : You have to know at least a little bit about Harry Potter.

Yes, I know they don't look like one, but the twins are a sucker for Harry Potter. It's the only thing they love more than their Nerve guns.

Fun fact - do you know why it's called Nerve guns? Well, setting aside copyrights, those plastic yet expensive guns get on your nerves. The authors thought they were such geniuses to actually make a pun with a hidden meaning in it, they just can't resist adding it into the story.

Anyway, the whole family are suckers for Harry Potter. We do, however, collect other best-selling novels. But that's not the topic right now.

Rule #2 : Never miss the FAFBs or else Mom will kill you.

FAFB ("Family Activities For Bonding", courtesy of Mom) includes movie nights and once in a while activities like going to the beach or visiting the zoo (which will never happen again considering what happened last time) and going on picnics.

Mom will hunt you down when you miss FAFBs. It's really important for her, and considering that she's put up with our chaos for more than eight years, it doesn't hurt that much to give her what she wants once in a while.

There is also a taboo to which all the family members have agreed on. We even have a contract that was signed by each family member pinned to the fridge.

Golden Rule : DO NOT TOUCH EACH OTHER'S BOOKS WITHOUT PERMISSION.

I am not a slight bit ashamed that we are 100% made of dorkiness and very nerdy.

Which kind of explains my expanded range of vocabulary normal 8-year-olds weren't supposed to have.

But hey, have you seen Nugget from the game Kindergarten (don't play that game, the twins and I watched it on YouTube)? Now that's creepy. He's younger than me yet he's much better at me in English.
***

"I'm going to my room." I said, taking the empty snack plate and putting it on the dishwasher.

Dad is on cleaning duty today, so it's okay for me to just leave the plate there to rot, at least until he actually gets the motivation to clean them.

Ah, scratch that. In the end I'm going to be the one to clean them anyway - that's why I'm Mom's favorite - but for the meantime, let's believe in that typical "Dad-is-on-cleaning-duty-today" lie.

Rule #3 : Dad never and never will do the cleaning. If he does then the apocalypse has struck down earth.

Each of the family members have their own version of "How to Survive the McLeens" that include their personal issues. This one is mine :

Rule #4 : Never ever enter Becky's room without permission. You also have to knock on the door before entering.

Look, I know I sound thirteen, but I swear I'm eight. You can check my passport - oh wait, I haven't renewed my passport yet, haha.

When you live in a family where seeing snakes on the carpet is already an everyday thing, things like renewing your passport are just, tossed to the side.

I mean, we're a family of six, it's actually a miracle how we can still afford everything we have now and not homeless.

Being the mature daughter I am I'm the one who asks for the simplest things. Like, WiFi.

Ah, scratch that, WiFis are a must in our house. Literally everyone here (including Layla)'s life depends on it.

I want to be an author when I grow up. So I'm really addicted to this app called Wattpad.

The authors couldn't make a better copyright, and they think it's cool, because I'm actually based on belviayus who also wants to be an author when she grows up.

Oof, I think something just broke. Ah, it's only the fourth wall.

You can practically see the authors waving at you. Someone has to patch that up real quick unless we're going to stray from the main plot.

Anyway,

That's my version of How To Survive the McLeens. It's short, but when you combine it with the other's, it's going to be pretty cool. So, that's it for me, for now.