wattys longlist 2018 | MEET ELLA. She's drowning, literally. Ella has lung cancer, causing her lungs to fill with liquid that needs to be drained daily. Every breath she takes feeds her life, but also takes it.
MEET JAKE. Resident smoker and bad boy...
I thought I had suffered. That I knew what hell was like.
But I was wrong.
Nothing. Nothing was more painful than this right now.
The wait, the silence of the hospital hallway.
White. A clean colour they say.
White. Sterile.
Red. Death.
Blood.
That's all I see. That's all I can remember. Her blood, how it covered my hands and how powerless I was.
"Jake?" I heard a deep voice call softly. My heart raced as I lifted my head to see a dark haired man walk toward me. He looked so familiar.
That's it. He's Ella's dad and he looked exactly like the pictures she showed me.
"I'm sorry. Are you Jake?" He asked again pulling me out of my thoughts.
"A-" I coughed trying to clear my throat.
Coughing.
That's what it always starts with.
"Ahh, yes I am?"
"Is that a question? Do you not know your own name boy?" He asked seriously.
I froze.
Shit.
Ella didn't say he was serious.
"N-No Sir. It wasn't a question." I said warily, trying to not look the man straight in the eyes.
I was then surprised when I heard a soft chuckle, my head jumped up to see a smile on the man's face.
"I'm just messing with you boy. Ella's told me all about you."
"Oh? Is that right?"
She talks about me?
Wait.
What has she told him? I thought horror etching across my face, making him laugh again.
"Don't worry all good things... or were they?" He asked with a smirk.
I gulped.
Damn this man is good.
He started to walk away, shoes squeaking down the hall, leaving me confused, before he looked back at me.
"Well? Are you coming son? She's awake."
And in that moment.
I could do nothing but thank God.
___
"You be good to my girl okay?" Ella's dad said when we arrived outside the door.
"Y-Yes Sir." I stumbled over my words, desperate to see Ella.
"Good. Good. Well you can head in to see her, she's been waiting. I'm going to go grab some food and I'll be back." He said turning around.
"Oh. And Jake?" I heard him call over his shoulder.
"Yes?"
"No more of the 'Sir' thing. Your making me feel old."
"Okay... then." I replied, grasping for another word.
I heard his chuckle as he walked away, and I turned to face the door.
Breathe Jake.
You can do this.
I filled my lungs, chest rising like waves as I raised my hand to open the door.
"Here goes nothing..."
I pushed open the door with one arm, slowly walking in and closing the door behind me.
"Hi Jake." I heard a soft voice waver.
I turned slowly, preparing to walk over to her but stopped in my tracks when I saw her small figure in the bed.
My Ella had a buzz cut.
Holy smokes.
I covered my mouth with my hand to cover my large shaky exhale.
She looked hot.
Not the time Jake, my mind screamed.
I know. I'm sorry okay.
"It's horrible I know... You don't have to come any closer if you don't want..." Ella said, not looking at me.
She though I didn't like it.
"Ella no. I exclaimed walking close. "I don't think it's horrible. It's actually fucking sick. Not in that context, but still..." I smiled as I took a seat next to the bed.
"You don't have to lie Jake. I know it's bad, that's why I wear a wig."
Wait.
What? I was about to ask, but my stupid mouth blurted out the next thing I thought.
"Can I feel it?"
"W-WHAT?" Ella gasped at me in surprise. "Jake!"
"Oh shit. That didn't come out right. What I meant was..." I cleared my throat. "I've always wanted to shave my head... or at least part of it, was never gain enough really, I mean what if I ruined my hair? Cause like, excuse me? Have you seen these beautiful locks..." I went on.
"Jake. Your rambling. Get to the point." Ella smirked at me.
"... and well I wanted to know what it would feel like." I huffed, resigning and leaning back in my chair.
"Go for it then." Ella giggled, tilting her head towards me.
"Are you for real?"
"Are you? You're the one asking to feel someone's head."
"Hmmm... I guess your right." I said reaching out a hand and feeling her shaved head.
"Well?" Ella asked, I could hear the smile in her voice.
"That's so fucking weird. I love it."
___
Guess who's back?
*Back again you all scream*
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That's right. I am. I told y'all I was going to actually try and finish this thing. So here you gooo. I hope you all liked it. If not FIGHT ME. Legit. Anyways...
I'll see y'all tommorow for one, two or maybe even three updates?
