𝐃𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐧 𝐎𝐱𝐲𝐠𝐞𝐧.

2 | 9

"If you want someone to fight for you, then you also need to fight for yourself."

intangible heights | ella

____

Hi Jake.

I don't know when or even if you'll get this, but I do know that if you are reading this then it means that I'm gone.

Wow. Jeezz. How do you even start these things?

First off, I just wanted to say thanks, in my whole 18 years I never experienced so much joy and fulfilment than I did in those last months with you. I love you so, sooo much and I hope you never forget that.

I hope you found the books I left you. Sorry for the dog ears and highlighted quotes, but they were my favourites and I wanted you to have them, as well as Chucks because I know how much you love him.

You mentioned once that you don't have anything anymore, but I just wanted to tell you that you are so wrong.

You have you.

And you are a marvellous creation, Jake, you changed my life and many others, but you just can't see it. The love you pour is incredible.

I just wanted to tell you to keep fighting. Keep fighting Jake because you are so worthy of it. You are so worthy of life and all it entails. Things get better, even I saw that in my last weeks. That hole you are in, that dark place, you will get out of it, nothing is endless.

Do not let yourself be oppressed by the fear of what is to come, because it will only fuel doubt. Fight those thoughts in your head that say you are not deserving because you are, you are worth so much more than you know. One thought can transform everything, so find the one, that one thought that makes those intangible heights, not so high.

Everything, every challenge we are given in life are ones we can overcome. They're not put there to knock us down and make us fall apart, they are there to show us what we can overcome, what we can achieve. So, overcome Jake, overcome that fear that's holding you back, fill that hole, find that thing that your soul is screaming for, and you will find yourself.

If you want someone to fight for you, then you also need to fight for yourself, I know that now. It's not some one-way street, so don't treat it like it is. Fight for yourself and others will fight for you. Don't underestimate the power of your own self, because only you get to decide if you truly live. So do it. Fight. Not for me, Jake. Fight for yourself, because you are worth it.

Know that wherever you are, I'll be watching with a smile and never-ending love,

Ella.