T. A. N. G. A. Goals (Barkada's shorts)

#PlanGoneWrong

I am Diane Shei Estrella. I offer my life to the Lord. He is the only one who can save me. He is the only one who can forgive me. He is my greatest Love.

That is how my life works. I live for Him and for Him only.  Not until I met this man. The man who changed my life. He who changed me. The man named Christian.

His name sounds like a kind man but not his attitude. He smokes, drink alcoholic beverages, involves in fights and a very grumpy one.  Ayaw sa kanya ng lahat. Na-iinis at galit sa kanya ng halos nakakilala sa kanya.

We met at school, became classmates and friends. Yes, who am I to judge when I am just a mere human? I become friends with him for I want to change his behaviors but things turned. Instead, he changed me into a person na hindi ko matanggap. Isang tao na malayo sa dating ako.  Isang babae na marunong na magmura at uminom. Hindi ko na mga minsan makilala ang sarili ko. Habang patagal ng patagal ang aming pagsasama bilang magkaibigan ay lalong lumalala ang ugali ko.

Hindi nga nagtagal at nanligaw na siya sa akin. He gives me flowers and chocolates every Valentine's Day, Christmas Day and on my birthday. After his long wait, sinagot ko na siya. I also have this feeling for him so why would I hide.

But of course I answer him with one condition, he would change.  He would quit smoking and stop in involving in fights.  He promised to do these stuff and our first 7 months went well.

He did really change. He even stop cursing and we both quit drinking alcoholic drinks. Our friends love and support the relationship that we have. They always cheer us up whenever we had misunderstandings and they even greet us at our monthsary.

In our first anniversary, he brought me to their private beach to celebrate. As we reach the place, I was so surprised after I see all our friends are their holding balloons with the letters H-A-P-P-Y  A-N-N-I-V-E-R-S-A-R-Y L-O-V-E.

It was one of my happiest days with him. And as I think of those efforts, I always hug him.

Another year had passed and we are still in this relationship yet these days, he tried to kiss me. Well, he always kissed me in my forehead though but this one is different.

He even tried to force me once just to respond to those kisses but all he had receive is a push away from me. I don't know why but I am not happy with this relationship anymore. I don't know if my friends knew or if they have observed.

His intimate kisses gives me nightmares for I know it was wrong, with his hands roaming around my upper body. 

I don't like it. It was wrong. I tried to tell him. He promised me that he would stop yet paulit-ulit parin 'yung nangyari. Ilang ulit ko nang sinabi sa kanya na hindi ako katulad ng ibang babae at hindi niya makukuha ang nais niya.

On the next school year, I decided na maglipat na ng school. Ginamit kong excuse ang kuya ko. Sinabi ko sa kanya at sa friends ko na gusto ng kuya kong magtransfer ako ng school para mas ma monitor niya ako dahil malapit iyon sa pinapasukan niya.

I didn't break up with Christian dahil hindi naman mawawala ang pag-asa kong magbabago siya. After a few months mukhang okay pa naman ang lahat. Sabi sakin ng mga kaibigan ko na nagpapakabait naman daw si Christian kaya gumaan ang loob ko.

But after the Sports Fest, may narinig akong balita na hindi ko matanggap.

" Diane, m-may sasa-sasabihin sana ako sa'yo.  Ah-ano 'wag nalang pala. Alis na ako. " sabi ng isa sa mga kaibigan ko, si Claine. Pumunta kasi siya dito sa bahay. Wala namang pasok kasi weekend.

"Sabihin mo na. Naghihintay ako. Umaasa ako na sasabihin mo kung ano man 'yan. " sabi ko.

" About kay Christian? I saw him. I mean I saw his pictures with another girl. " Isang nakabibinging katahimikan ang bumalot sa loob ng kwarto.