Ciara Gallagher doesn't know who she is. After having a brutal argument with her dad, she left the Gallagher household to stay in Ireland, she comes back a year later, simply for no one else but to see her beloved twin, Ian. She doesn't plan to stay...
"We so seldom understand each other. But if understanding is neither here nor there, and the universe is infinite, then understand that no matter where we go we will always be smack dab in the middle of nowhere. All we can do is share some piece of ourselves, and hope that it's remembered. Hope that we meant something to someone" - Shane L. Koycazn
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what the fuck am I doing?
what the FUCK am I doing?
I made the decision, I bought the ticket and packed and went on the plane and walked here, without thinking of a single thing. I was drunk, and probably high when the idea came to my mind.Right now, however, I was certainly not drunk, and in no way high. Damn, I wish I was.
My hands start to tremble and I feel like my legs don't move, my body will not let me move. I physically can not rip my feet off the familiar pavement and gather the courage to knock on that door. Maybe this was enough, maybe all I needed to do was just see the house, I didn't actually have to go inside, or talk to them, or live with them. Maybe I could just book another flight back to my house and forget this happened.
I was about to turn back and give up when I heard a voice that made me want to throw up.
"OI! Can I get a smoke? My fucking sister smoked all of mine"
Mickey fucking Milcovich.
He approached me at a quick pace, I couldn't say a word. I muttered an okay as I tried to defeat my trembling hands and grab a cigarette out of my new packet. What the fuck do I say to him? I left for a year, no word to or from anyone, no warning. Just gone. Just like that, I was out of their lives and now I decided to come back in and ruin them again. Typical of me.
I handed him the cigarette, I tried not to let him see my face but his words made me weak.
"ah cheer- woah what the fuck. Ciara? Ciara fucking Gallagher? the same fucking Ciara Gallagher that fucked off without a word. Hot Damn Gallagher, you got a lot of nerve coming back here."
What the fuck. He didn't see my face, it was that fucking tattoo.The tattoo we all got when we were drunk; a simple compass, just a couple lines, but with only the south labeled; the south side. The same one that Ian, Mickey, Archie and I all got, right on our middle finger of our right hand. It was cringe, but we were fucking wasted and had no idea what we were doing.
"uh Mickey, hey? How've you been?"
"Fucking shit man. Look, id love to stay and chat but I gotta go, errands to run and all that. Ill come round later, talk properly. And go talk to Ian, he's still fucking devastated you're not there."
and with that, Mickey was gone, he didn't even care. I expected a scene, that was very anti-climactic. But Ian did, Ian was devastated, fucking how could I have done that to him. I needed to see him, my heart had ached without him, like a part of me was missing, I couldn't cope, and right now, I fucking longed to see him. I craved my twin back.
And, in that moment of impulsiveness, I situated myself at the front door and knocked without a second thought.
