Lethal Lust

23 | no self-esteem

"Elijah's having an affair. He's been cheating on you for months!" Jax blurted out quickly.

In that moment, Jess could've sworn her heart stopped beating, the oxygen stopped entering her lungs, and she, herself stopped being. She felt void from the inside to the out. As desolate as the current state of her womb.

"What? Wh-what the hell are you saying, Jax?" Her voice emerged as rough, jagged breaths.

"I'm so sorry Jess...I know I should've said something earlier, but..." He stopped in his tracks as she held her hand up, indicating for him to stop. He noticed the colour drain from her already pasty pale skin.

"How? How...How can this even be true?!" She continued, her gaze drifting down to the floor beneath her. But suddenly she glanced back up towards Jax, her stare suddenly much more accusing.

"This is one of your jokes, isn't it? You've said some stupid things but this really isn't funny, Jax!" She spat out, every word radiating anger.

"I...No! No, I'm not joking. I wish I was but I'm not Jess. This is the truth...Elijah is cheating on you." He repeated; he could visibly see the pain in Jess's eyes which were more glossy than usual. He noticed how when he said the word 'cheating', her body jerked back, almost violently as though he'd physically attacked her.

"Jess, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say...I really don't. But I'm here for you Jess, always. You've been like a sister to me and I knew I had to tell you...all I can say is that I'm so sorry for not telling you earlier." He mumbled the last sentence weakly. He could see his mistake clearer than ever at that moment. If he wasn't going to tell them he should've tried harder to stop the affair in its tracks. He felt ashamed to say he let it continue for nearly four months.

"Who?" She whispered, her lip trembled with vulnerability. If there was anything she loathed, it was feeling vulnerable. Yet here she was basking in her vulnerability again, as though her losing her baby hadn't made her vulnerable enough.

"What?"

"Who...? Who's Elijah been cheating on me with? You said it's been going on for months so surely you must know who she is." She looked at him so intently, it was almost as though she was piercing through his being, her green lasers delving directly into his soul for answers.

Jax was stunned into silence. He shut his eyes tightly remembering his conversation with Seb only minutes ago. He had to tell her. He had to, for Kylie's own sake as well as Jess's. But Kylie was his baby sister and he had to protect her at all costs because if he didn't, who would?

"I asked you a question, Jax! Who the fuck is she?" Jess nearly yelled at him, startling Jax so his eyes fluttered open again. He was thankful for the roaring music from inside the hall as they were only a couple feet away from the door and he silently prayed that nobody could hear that Jess was moments away from a breakdown.

"I...I don't know." He quickly said, knowing he was wrong, just like he'd been wrong to not prevent the affair from the start. He felt the guilt pour into him as he averted his gaze away from her.

"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know?!" She hissed back at him.

"I...I didn't see her face properly. I just heard their conversation but she was...blonde."

"Blonde?" Jess responded in a baffled manner as though what Jax had said were so utterly ludicrous.

"Yeah, she was definitely blonde." He winced at his own lie.

"Well, where did you see them? What were they saying...doing?" She said quickly, searching Jax's face for more answers but instead was met with reluctance.