Thaw Fickle Buskin

Thaw

My house appeared sinister and unwelcoming in the deadly gloom. Usually the rusted exterior was made friendlier by a warm glow inside, signifying that we indeed lived there. That we spent our nights in there, that we ate dinner together and laughed in the otherwise sad kitchen. But when I threw my bike onto the dying grass outside, my entire body told me not to enter. But my mind knew the truth. It knew that this was the safest place I could be.

I threw open the door and attempted to shut it, but at that point the pressure outside was too high. I decided that trying to get it shut was a waste of valuable time. From outside, I could see the tornado twisting and conforming. It pulsed rhythmically like the beat of a heart. It was almost like I was looking directly at Kanoa, looming over the town like a demon. It was mere moments away from entering the other side of town.

I ran towards the downstairs door and rushed down the stairs. The air was still, almost sickeningly motionless. It was the quietest place I had been to for what seemed like years. Garfunkel barked happily at the sight of me. He abandoned Kanoa's side and came pouncing up to me, blissfully unaware of the terrors outside.

Kanoa looked even worse than before. She wasn't trying to hold back her powers anymore. She was staring up at the ceiling, her entire body shrouded by the glow. There was no color left in her face. Her eyes had no emotion. For a minute, I thought I might have left her to die.

But to my relief, she perked her head up. Dark bags had creased underneath her eyes. "Hey, I got the pills. Sorry it took so long, the storm outside stopped me from getting here quicker--"

I stopped once I saw the tears forming in Kanoa's departed eyes. They dug inside of me, causing my tongue to choke on my words.

"...they aren't going to work, Beatrice. I'm sorry."

No. No, I wasn't about to accept that. I threw off my raincoat and dug out the pills. I abandoned the melatonin and focused purely on the antidepressants. I shook out two small capsules and placed them in my palm, outstretched for Kanoa to take. She took them shakily. I watched silently as she took them dry, her face full of disgust.

"Beatrice--"

"Don't." I said. "Please, just...believe that they'll work."

"You don't get it. It's not the anger anymore," Kanoa said, defeated.

"What do you mean?"

Kanoa shook her head. "It's consumed me. I've always been able to control it, but now its like its replaced every human part of me. I...I'm not sure we can do anything else. I'm sorry you got dragged into this."

My entire body was shaking. I didn't know what else to do. I went on a long and dangerous trek just to get those pills. Our last resort. And it wasn't going to work. Kanoa laid her head back down on my pillow and shut her eyes. I continued to stand over her. There was no physical way to get out of this. The cyclone was coming, and if it got to us, we would be dead. It was too big and too powerful for their to be any other outcome.

Then a thought came into my head.

...There was no physical way.

But who's to say that it needed to be physical?

I lurched towards Kanoa and grabbed her hand. She jumped at the unexpected touch and looked at me, obviously confused. I took in a deep breath. If this didn't work, then that was it. But if there was some way of putting back the "human" into Kanoa, to push away the evil and drive out the storm, then I was going to try it.

"What are you doing?" Kanoa whispered.

I smiled. "I'm about to confess my crush for you."

Kanoa's eyes widened. "You...what?"

"Ever since seventh grade, you've been this grand image above me. This untouchable figure that was greater than anything I could ever achieve. And up until now, I've been alright watching from a distance. But then you got hurt because of it. And I'm almost one-hundred percent sure that that's why this is happening. Something broke in you because I did nothing."

Kanoa's mouth gaped open, but she said nothing. That was fine; I don't think I was ready to hear her response. I don't think I was ever going to be ready for her response. But love is the single most human thing we can hope for. A raw, pure feeling that absolutely consumes us when we experience it. I've had the chance to feel it. But I don't think Kanoa has.

"So that's the truth. The truth is that Beatrice Faller has been in love with a stranger for years. A girl who seemed so sure of herself, but now I see she's always minutes from collapsing."

She kept looking at me. Her chest rose and fell heavily. A small amount of color pricked through her pallor cheeks. It was like she was a rose opening up, greeted by a soft and new world. Her eyes began to glisten with life, a story that has yet to be told. All of her edge drifted away, a receding wave of compassion washing over her.

"That's the truth, then."

"Yeah. I guess it is."

The throbbing light around her disappeared deep underneath her skin. She took in a deep breath. I don't think she even realized that she had been drowning that entire time. She grabbed at her chest, trying desperately to get more air. Full color arose to her; even her stormy eyes began thundering with humanity.

I fell to my knees, relieved. There was no longer the pounding upstairs of wind threatening to carry away everything I loved. All I could do was watch Kanoa recover and become who she once was; or rather, who everyone thought she was. Kanoa was in a new chapter of her life. I felt like I was watching her flip the pages towards another future.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I forgot that I even had it. I pulled it out and saw several different messages from my mother, starting with I'm at the hospital, don't worry about me! to Beatrice, please tell me you're okay. I responded by saying I was fine and Garfunkel was with me. I decided to leave Kanoa out of the equation for now.

I turned to Kanoa. "So...would you like something to drink?"