Thaw Fickle Buskin

Change in the Weather

I kept my gaze down at the disappearing trail, memories flooding in from my past. The large boulders that hid Crater Lake from view where I fell off and Ricky had to carry me home. The bright red chokecherries that shriveled in the middle of autumn. The reflections beneath the boardwalk where Ricky offered me my first drink of alcohol. My heart felt heavy with loneliness in the still, silent air.

There were muffled voices coming from the other side of the lake where the boardwalk stood, wood threatening to break apart and fall into the frigid waters. I assumed they were teenagers, but my heart pounded at the possibility of meeting the homeless people. It was common knowledge around the town that these people were dangerous and should be avoided at all cost.

My hand made its way into my pocket and felt the small sticky note. There was a level of comfort knowing that Kanoa was there waiting for me. But I was beginning to get a little nervous at the gathering clouds above, hiding the vibrant sky and replacing it with a layer of darkness. It wasn't nearly as bad as it was during the storm, but it was enough to be uneasy.

Between two large rocks was an old trail of plywood leading me directly to a small gazebo built by the town to attract more people to the lake. Everyone had clearly forgotten about this, though, because everything man-made here was being taken over by dying vines and overgrown bushes. Chokecherries lined the path with speckles of red. I reached out and popped one off its stem and placed it in my mouth. It exploded with a sour juice, causing a shiver to go down my spine.

After breaking through the small barrier of rocks I spotted Kanoa sitting by the water. The waves would lap lazily at her feet, causing her to shiver. I watched her for a minute. She would occasionally reach up and run her fingers through her thick hair and let it billow behind her. She was looking out at the forest surrounding the lake and letting the sun strike her tan skin.

I wanted to run towards her and greet her. I wanted to ask curiously what we were doing here, why she wanted to meet me again. But I couldn't move from that spot. I was stuck in a single moment of observing a part of Kanoa's life. A quiet version of it, anyway, with no cares in the world. Only her, the water, and the warmth she provided to the town.

Reality washed over me when Kanoa looked over her shoulder at me with a sullen face. Her whole body fell at the sight of me. I wondered why she looked so crestfallen. My legs were set in motion. I needed to see if she was alright. I couldn't afford to let her plunge into another emotional hole. There was no way I was going to let her become that trapped again.

I reached Kanoa, her tall figure suddenly small as she sat at the bank. The soft crashing of the waves were the only noise between us. I sat down gently beside her. She continued to stare directly into the water, watching the grey patterns of the clouds rise and fall with each ripple.

"I'm sorry I had you come up here," Kanoa said quietly. "I just couldn't show my face around town. Not yet."

"Don't apologize. In fact, I was looking forward to walking that trail again," I said truthfully.

Kanoa turned her body towards me. Everything about her was cold. "I need you to realize something. And you can't be all nice about it, because I know you're too nice to let bad things happen. I guess we never want sad stories to happen. That's the problem, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. She was starting to scare me.

"I just mean that you can't help me. I know you want to get involved with all of it--the powers, the magic, whatever--but I can't risk hurting another person. There's already so much damage. You're a good person, and I would never put you in danger on purpose. And that's what would happen if you kept sticking by me."