Hate You - Jinhongseok

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     the things we did together. i told you. i told you so many fucking times. i told you i didn't want you to be a cheater. i didn't want to be the one you cheated with. people would find out and it would ruin you. you told me everything would be fine. even when i broke down and told you i couldn't take it. i couldn't take the risk. you would always tell me it would be okay. you would tell me you loved me and i would listen. i'd say okay and when it was over we'd fall asleep and i would believe you and what you said. i would believe that you loved me and everything would be okay.

     when we'd wake up you'd apologize. you'd tell me you were sorry and you'd tell me i couldn't say anything. i couldn't tell anyone. that it didn't matter. we were just friends. friends help each other. i helped you because we were friends. just friends.

     after awhile it made me feel like shit. like i could never be good enough to keep you. whenever it got bad, i'd realize something. even with the ever growing list of girls you would go through, one thing remained consistent. i remained consistent. for so long that thought comforted me. for so long that thought kept me wrapped around your finger. 

     i began to keep track. every time you would lie to me and use me. over fifty times in three months. you would lie to me and i would believe you. i believed you loved me because i loved you. i stopped keeping track. it made me feel even worse.