Hate You - Jinhongseok

--

you were everything to me. my life revolved around yours. i'd lie to my parents. when we were small i'd tell them we didn't eat sweets late at night but in reality we did because hongseok wanted to. i'd sneak out. i would go to parties and be surrounded by people i didn't want to be near because hongseok wanted to. i'd stay up late most nights. i would need to finish countless essays and math assignments because hongseok wanted me to.

you wanted me to do these things and i'd do anything for you. i didn't care how these things affected me. i only cared about you and seeing you happy. i loved your smile. i loved to make you smile. i would give up everything for you. i would have. i can't say that anymore.

i didn't realize what this was doing to me. i had no need to focus on myself when i could focus on you. i didn't matter. i didn't realize then how this would affect the way i saw things. how friends act, what a relationship should look like. all i cared about was you.

i realize now how terrible that was. how you destroyed me.