The Broken Girl and The Golden Boy

Self-Hate and the Blame Game

Chapter 13: Piper

Klunk. Klunk. Klunk. Klunk.

Someone was coming down the stairs. Usually, that wouldn't wake me up. Only... we didn't have stairs. I opened my eyes and struggled to make out my surroundings as my eyes adjusted to the light.

There was a huge television across from where I was lying and two white couches - one by my head and one by my feet. I could see a glass coffee table with a radio and an open box sitting on top of it directly in front of me. It was hard to focus on anything because whatever I was lying on... was breathing. I looked down.

My face was pressed against a soft gray t-shirt, which didn't tell me much, except that I was lying on top of some guy. I angled my head slightly so I could see his face. Thick, light-brown curls covered his eyes - not that it would've made a difference, I could tell from his slow, even breathing that he was still asleep.

When I realized that it was Justin, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of me. I was worried that something had happened. That I had been kidnapped on my way home. Now I remembered that I hadn't gone home. We had been sitting at his house and I was waiting to go home after we dropped off the poster, but I didn't remember falling asleep. Had we...

No, definitely not. I would've remembered that. I didn't know why the thought had even crossed my mind. Justin and I would never... we were just barely friends. I relaxed.

And then Leo came in.

"Hey, Justin," he said quietly, "I'm sorry about - Piper? What are you doing here?"

"Nothing!" I insisted, clambering off of the couch... and his brother. My face felt hot enough to fry an egg right now. I felt like I was doing the walk of shame - and I hadn't even done anything with Justin. "I got stuck here last night, because of the storm, and I just... fell asleep. That's all."

"Really?" Leo said with a smug grin, "Because the two of you looked pretty cozy there. All snuggled up and... intimate-like."

"We weren't -" I stammered, "I mean, we didn't - ergh... nothing happened, okay?!"

"Sure..." he said, "I'll just leave the two of you alone, then. Have fun... but not too much fun."

"Oh my god," I hid my face in my hands as the little creep scrambled off down the hall. That was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. And Justin managed to sleep through the whole thing.

"Lucky bastard," I muttered as I finger combed my hair. I picked my flip-flops up off the floor and sat down on the edge of the sofa to slip them on. Then I stood up and started for the door.

Right as I was about to leave, I glanced back over my shoulder. I almost felt guilty leaving him without saying goodbye. But that was stupid. I mean, he wouldn't even care. Besides, even if I did say it, how would he even know that I had? I opened the door... and closed it again.

I went back to over to the sofa where Justin was resting so peacefully and murmured, "See you later, Mr. Perfect..." The words felt so hollow, like they were missing something important. I shrugged off the feeling and started for the door again. Then I opened it and nudged it closed again.

It was that ridiculous forehead kiss. The one from the Homecoming game. No matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was always there in the back of my mind. Maybe if I...

I walked back over to the couch. Again. I gently brushed his curly hair out of his face. Leaning down, I kissed his forehead and whispered, "See you on Monday, Justin." As an afterthought, I wrote down my cell phone number on a scrap of paper from the emergency kit and stuck it under his hand. In case we needed to get together to work on the project or something like that...