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chapter fourteen the rest is confetti
☼ ☽
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Jill Samson used to think time was like a line. Everything happened when it was supposed to happen like it was set in stone and there was nothing she or anyone could do to change it. She thought there was a beginning when you enter the world screaming and an end where you drift off into peace. But as she walked home from the Arcade that night in her dirty clothes, it dawned on her that she had been wrong. Because time was not a line with a beginning and an end, time was made up of moments. These moments defined who she was and how she carried herself throughout her life. Moments fell around her like rain or fresh snow or even confetti. Every moment was sprinkled around her like pieces to a puzzle. They were all separate and yet pieced back together to shape the big picture forming in her subconscious.
As she rode home from the Arcade later that night, she realized she couldn't recall all the events that had happened that summer. Some memories seemed to be fading, creating a void where they once resided. But the things—the moments—she did remember stayed with her even when she drifted off to sleep. She remembered the rock war, and cleaning Beverly's bathroom, and kissing her best friend. She remembered all those moments like they were pieces to the puzzle of her life. And she held onto them, because they made her feel different. She wasn't angry when she remembered her time spent with the Losers' Club, maybe a wave of melancholy hit her every once in a while, but it was mostly nostalgic bliss which filled her.
The members of the Losers' Club were like fresh snow sprinkled around her, and it took losing them to realize just how much their friendship meant to her. When that dawned on her, she realized those memories would stay with her even if she'd never see any of them again, and that very thought brought a smile to her face. Maybe it wasn't what she was hoping for at the start of the summer, but it was something; something she'd always remember until time took her to rot with the weeds.
With her head tilted toward the night sky, Jill closed her eyes while she rode down the vacant street toward her apartment. The wind blew her choppy hair out of her face, causing it to whip behind her as she ceased peddling and let the bike lead her down the road. She felt the smile on her face widened as she thought back to the better times she spent with the Losers. She remembered things she didn't even know she had forgotten like when Eddie offered to give tips on how to disinfect her hands after she punched Henry Bowers's lights out, and she remembered the time Stanley called her up one day and asked if she wanted to go bird watching with him. She remembered all the little moments, even the painful ones, and yet, the smile still remained on her face.
