The Breathing Blood Sack that Lives in My House

Why Me

Jimin P.O.V

"Ugh" I groaned covering my eyes with the bright sunshine enveloping my room.

"JIMINIE, JIMINE"

I felt a huge mass envelope my bed and straggling me under.

Or more, specifically, a lanky, broad-shouldered, pink sweatered thot.

"HEY JIN I TOLD YOU NOT TO WAKE UP LIKE THIS," I said as I struggled to get the now hugging monster off of me.

"But you're so cute, like a little mochi," He said while squishing my cheeks. He twisted it up and down until I pushed him off of me.

"OMG, my baby is growing stronger every day!" He squealed.

Really. I swear I could be stabbing a knife in him and he would still think it's cute.

"Hyung just get out please, ok"

"Alright, but make sure you come down for breakfast and do it quickly. It's getting late, and the cows are not going to milk themselves." He said in a sing-song voice while skipping out of my room.

I got up, groaning. Gosh, I think I overslept. It's almost 7 a.m, and I have to get the rice sowing done by today.

I got up and brushed my teeth while staring at my reflection. Gosh, my eyes are still red from the alcohol from last night. I told Namjoon to stop pouring in my cup but he insisted. And he knows how I look the day after I drink. Probably did it on purpose that bastard.

"AISH" I groaned.

I popped my depression pills in my mouth, wondering when my doctor would make me stop taking them.

I guess when I start losing weight. I inspect the protruding cheeks, thick legs that describe my body. I sigh in frustration

"I guess I'll have to skip breakfast" I sighed, thinking about my rumbling stomach. It must hate me so much now.

Everyone hates me.

Last time Jin saw me vomiting out my food, he almost lost it. He lectured me on and on about how I should love myself, and how I'm his cute mochi. There was a lot of crying and screaming. Not to mention a doctor's appointment. Yup. Definitely not doing that again.

But the worst part is when people ask me

" why the hell do you feel that way, you look amazing." or

" You have a gorgeous body, there are so many others that would kill for your body yet you're sitting here mourning."

But that's not how I feel at all.

The sounds still echo in my mind. The laughing, the jeering.

WHY WON'T THEY STOP!

" Haha, did you see his legs! They look like a cow's!"

They never think that kids would ever do something like that. But they don't understand. They were the biggest, most domineering monsters. The kind that creeps under your bed at night, but worse.

No, these monsters linger and seep into the contents of your mind, wreaking havoc and poking at every weakness it can find. And every day, it looks for more. It reminds you of why you shouldn't exist, Why you don't deserve anyone's love.

I don't deserve anything.

I tried to lift myself off of the cold marble floor, but couldn't. My heart was beating out of its chest and the panic was making it hard for me to breathe.

This is it.

This is the last time.

It's finally happening, I say with relief, until everything turns to darkness and my body can no longer support me.