Am I......?(BxB)

Chapter 12

The weeks pass and every day feels as bad as the one before. I haven't said a word to Leo and when I even look at him, all I want to do is scream 'I'm sorry.' I've managed to keep my grades up and I'm still working on college applications, but it's only managed to distract me a little from Leo.

It's the week before winter break and the ceremony for SCFA nominations is coming up. Every year, the ceremony is held just before Christmas, which kind of interferes with everyone's travel plans (not me though. My family stays home every year). Mom, Dad, and Ryan, who's home for winter break, are helping me to cope with the breakup, but it still hurts.

Mark and Shawn are helping to relay information about Leo to me, but they don't ever have very much to tell me. All they've said is that Leo seems incredibly depressed. He isn't talking much and seems sick most of the time. Maybe this breakup is as hard on him as it is on me...

It took a bit more time than I expected, but Brian tells me earlier in the week that he, Leo and I can go and talk to Danny this Saturday. He tells me that he'll come to pick me up early Saturday morning and we'll be taken to where Danny is being held. I'm nervous about seeing Danny, but I'm even more nervous about being with Leo most of the day.

Saturday morning. After I'm showered and dressed, I head downstairs and have a quick breakfast with Mom, Dad, and Ryan. "So you're going to talk to the guy that beat the shit out of your friend?" Ryan asks, a mouth full of cereal.

"Yeah. We're trying to work out a plea bargain so he can get a reduced sentence."

"Are you sure he feels remorse for what he did?" Mom asks me, the lawyer in her taking over. "If he doesn't, don't agree to the deal."

"I haven't talked to him, but Brian has," I say. "He said that he could see how terrible Danny feels about the whole thing and knows Danny made a mistake." I hear a car horn blare outside and I rise from the kitchen table and walk my dishes to the sink. "I'll be back later in the afternoon."

I head outside and find Brian standing on my front porch, cast and crutches gone. "Hey, you got the cast off!" I say.

He smiles up at me. "Yup. I got it off yesterday after school. My leg feels a little stiff, but otherwise, I'm fully healed. C'mon. We need to get to the penitentiary."

Brian leads me down the walkway and climbs into the driver's seat of his Ford Escape. I get in the passenger seat and we head off. "Are...we going to get Leo?" I ask.

"No. Last night, he said he wasn't feeling well and couldn't make it today. I know things between you two are still on thin ice, but I'm really going to need you to focus on Danny today. Shit, that was really insensitive. I know the breakup has been really hard on you, but I just sounded like I didn't care about it. Sorry Josh."

"It's okay. I know I need to push Leo out of my head for now. I promise I'm with you 100% on this."

"Thanks Josh."

We get to the penitentiary about forty-five minutes later. We park in the visitors area and as we're walking to the door, a woman that looks to be in her late-thirties wearing a black pantsuit is standing by the front door, waving her hand. "Brian!"

"Hi Michele," Brian says. He looks to me. "Josh, this is Michele. She's my lawyer."

"Nice to meet you Michele," I say. "Josh Rusden."

"You're the young man Brian's been talking about," she says. "It's nice to meet you as well. C'mon boys. We have a meeting to get to."

We walk inside the penitentiary and Michele instructs Brian and I to take a seat while she finishes filling out some paperwork. Brian and I take our seats and I look to him. "So how're you and Justin coming along?"