Lupus - A Shawn Mendes Fanfiction

▪ ■ twenty five ■ ▪

Hello all! Here is chapter 25 x

Your POV

"Shawn" I say and he ignores me, tears welling in his brown eyes. I move my hand forward, and wipe a tear away, but he flinches.

He wouldn't let me touch him.

"I'm fine!" He snapped. I had never seen anyone cry this much in my entire life. The tears kept falling, and I could tell he was trying not to make a sound.

I gently place my hand on his shoulder. He tries to push my arm away but I didn't let him.

"I know you're freaking out Shawn. I know you're hurting really badly. Not just physically, but mentally. Please let me help you. Please I'm begging you Shawn, let me help my absolute world get better." I plea. He lets out a huge sob that shatters my heart.

That was all it took for the wall he had been trying so hard to build to collapse.

He begins sobbing uncontrollably. I wrap my other arm around his shoulder and his entire body falls on me like he was surrendering. His head digs into my chest, and arms wrap around my waist. I take my fingers through his messy hair to try to calm him, but it was no use.

Shawn kept crying. All I could do was rock him from side to side in my lap, holding the broken boy in my arms.

"I've got you, okay. I've got you." I whisper into his ear, making him cry even more.

It was like the emotions from every bit of pain, every bit of hurt, every bit of sadness he had felt over the last few months had all been condensed into a tiny bottle, which had succumb to the pressure of it all and exploded all at once, letting every bit of pain, hurt and sadness out in one go.

"I've got you." I say to reinforce it.

"Y... Y/N." He sobs, struggling to breathe. "P... please make it... stop..."

"Make what stop honey?" I ask, taking my hand up and down his bare back, feeling less muscular than normal. He had lost weight.

"The tears... I... I can't stop!" He cries, breaking my heart. I kiss some of his tears away, but it was no use. He kept crying and I couldn't stop him.

"I love you so much Shawn, I absolutely adore you. You're my everything." I whisper in his ear. His entire body was warm, as he had a fever. The crying probably made him warmer.

"Can y... you hold me? P... please Y/N?" He sobs into my chest and I pull him even closer to me if that was possible. He was practically laying in my lap, head dug into my stomach. I lean down and kiss his forehead; he was burning up.

"Baby, please calm down." I cuddle him close to me. Shawn eventually calms down, and I pull his face away from my chest, stroking his pinkish cheeks. All I could see was pain, and it broke my heart. "Lay down, my baby needs rest." I ease Shawn into a laying position.

"Stay with me... please." Shawn grabs my wrist and doesn't let go.

"Okay, but you need to eat something. You're sick, Shawn. You have a fever, your rash is back and you're in pain, so you need to eat something." I kneel beside him and move some hair out of his eyes. "Let me get you a cool washcloth and some muffins." I plant a kiss on his cheek before getting him a washcloth. I help him sit and place it on his forehead. "Eat up." I give him his muffin and he eats it quickly. "Finish your water too." There was a bottle of water at his bedside. He always kept it there, but hadn't drank any today.

"I will... God my head hurts Y/N."

"Please tell me what's going on with you Shawn, I want to help." I lay beside him and he moves his head into my lap, and I begin massaging his head.

"Its just everything... like I've recorded this album but can't release it because I'm too sick to do press, I'm just hurting all over. My fans... they deserve better. And this Hailey thing. I thought she'd be put away for longer, and she's gonna be out and I can't live knowing she could come back in a few years. I just want to be able to make an album, release it and tour. That's all I want but I can't do it." He explains, trying his hardest not to cry.

"Shawn your fans all understand that you're sick. They adore you, and so do we. You never know, Selena was saying that after a while you go into remission, where there's no symptoms and that can last years Shawn... once your anxiety and depression is under control you'll feel better, the mental symptoms are making everything worse, but please Shawn talk to me. I want you to recover. I want to take your pain away but you have to tell me when you're hurting so I can make it better. I hate seeing my baby like this." I stroke his cheek, and he moves so he is laying between my legs.

"Thank you for just... for being here Y/N... thank you. I love you Y/N, I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend and best friend." He looks down at the promise ring he gave me two years ago. "Is it too soon to change this? Into an engagement ring?" I'm shocked by this - was he?

Shawn tries to reach out to the hotel drawer but he's too weak. Eventually, he's able to reach and a small box comes out fromthe drawer.

"This is possibly the worst proposal ever!" He groans, digging his head into my stomach. He looks me in the eye. "I've been carrying this for a few months now. Y/N, will you make me the happiest person ever to even exist and marry me?"

I lean down and kiss him more passionately than I had ever done in my life.

"Does that answer your question." I laugh, holding him.

"I should be taking care of you. I should be holding you right now, you should be in my lap. Instead I'm laying in yours!"

"Its okay, you're sick baby its fine." He opens the box and a sapphire ring pops out. (A/N Kate Middleton/ Princess Diana's ring)

"Its stunning." I gasp, tears falling from both of our eyes.

The moment turns sour when Shawn points to his mouth, and throws up all over the hotel duvet.

"I'm so sorry Y/N... I'll get a new sheet." I knew he was too weak to even stand, the hotel medic had told him to stay in bed.

"Shawn no I'll do it... I need to take care of you in sickness and in health." I joke as I use the washcloth from his forehead to clean his face. I plant a kiss on his cheek before getting up to find a fresh sheet.

I couldn't believe it - Shawn and I were getting married!

I thought I'd give this a happy ending. This story is almost done, I need five or six more chapters, maybe more maybe less ❤ thanks for supporting me guys, it means everything to me x I love you all ❤