You're Never Alone

Five

Part five: looking back

"Appa? Are you okay?" Rose asked. She knew seeing him again made her appa feel something that she couldn't understand. There was history between them. Rose knew there were things omitted for their sake and even Jungkook's. Jungkook looked upset with grief, and heartbroken.

"Hey," Jin chirped, stepping in. When he saw Jungkook, he became puzzled. Jin wasn't sure what happened but it couldn't be good. Jin hadn't seen him like this in a while.

"What happened?" He asked Rose. Jin wasn't sure if Jungkook was even paying attention. The two one-year old twins were looking at their appa but clueless about what was going on. Yoongi and Hoseok had their mouth open and staring at their appa.

"He saw the doctor. You know the one that took him away." Rose looked at Jungkook with pity. Kookie had acted put together in front of the doctor but as soon as he vanished his resemblance changed.

Those words seemed to fill Jin in. Just like Rose, he wasn't sure what to say or do. He knew that going through Jungkook's life changing event was something he hastgone through not does he wish to ever live through. Jin loves his children and he can't imagine losing one. Jin knew that Jungkook was the stronger of the two. Jungkook had survived such a pain, which Jin couldn't possibly do.

"I can hear you. Don't look at me like that." Jungkook finally spoke up. He proceeded to put the groceries away.

Jungkook couldn't believe his luck. Years later they meet again in a supermarket. This time it wasn't as light as before. Both of them burdened by their once intertwined past. They had a light and pointless conversation. They falsely smiled and when he said sorry Jungkook swore that his heart broke again. The memory of losing a child felt fresh. Jungkook just nodded being afraid to speak. His voice would surely give him away. He managed to gather himself enough to say goodbye.

Jungkook could see he was sorry but his heart wasn't ready to forgive. He couldn't forget the whole ordeal—the trauma, he felt. It wasn't the doctor's fault or maybe it was. The situation seems blurry, hazy, and so far away to even put the pieces together. And maybe it was for the better. They weren't meant to be but that child was his.

Thinking on it, now, maybe Jungkook did forgive him. He had. For if that hadn't happened, then he wouldn't have fallen in love. It was Yoongi who brought him out of that depression. He showed Jungkook himself—a man that wanted to be with him, who cared for him, who could love him despite his imperfections, who would be there no matter what. Jungkook fell for him. That brought him to find happiness. No matter how long it didn't last or how long it did last. He was happy with his husband.

Now, he found himself back to where he started. This time around Jungkook was sure he wasn't making the same mistakes. This time he was sure of his feelings. He didn't question Jin's motives.

He showed Jungkook that he loved him. It was time for him to do the same. Jungkook had showed him countless times that he cared for him but was it the same as showing love? He wasn't sure but a year in this household felt familiar.

The familiarity was always there no matter how many times the seasons passed. No matter how many times there was change—there was love blossoming here even in the coldest of days, during those cold winter days. He would always choose to be here. His wish was to remain in this place with these people. This was his home.

"Are you okay?" Jin asked him. He was unsure if asking would hurt Jungkook but it was better than staring at him, seeing him unravel in his own thoughts.

"For the first time in a long time I'm able to forgive him. And looking back at everything," Jungkook paused and looked at him. "Things happen for a reason and everything that happened and didn't—brought me back here. It could be fate or whatever but I'm back with people I love. And people who love me." He smiled softly at his memories, his own little world.

Jin looked confused. He was sure he saw Jungkook upset not even two minutes ago. Now, he smiled at Jin as if he found a reason to. He wanted to know his thoughts, his mind and that was something that Jin was still working on. No matter how much he tried to understand Jungkook, he didn't. By now, he would think, he would've gotten to a point where he could read Jungkook simply by glance. But it wasn't like that at all.

He heard Jungkook giggle. It was obvious that Jin was the one who caused it. Was he really that obvious, easy to read to Jungkook? He shook his head and smiled.

"It seems like I don't have to worry. You're amazing for seeing the positive side out of that." Jin could tell that Jungkook was happy being here with those he loved and maybe they helped him through his dark time like he had helped them during theirs.

"Thank you." Jungkook hugged him tightly as if afraid he'd disappear. He hugged Jungkook back unafraid.

"I should be the one to thank you," he whispered gently in his ear. "You saved us when we were starting to become strangers. You made us become one big happy family. We're a family now." Jin didn't let him go.

"We're one big strange family. I wouldn't change anything. You guys are my everything. I didn't know how much you meant to me until I was far away. It is now that I recognize that I love you." Jungkook pulled back to see Jin.

"Do you know how long I waited for those words? Do you realize I've loved you since the first time I let you leave with that Doctor?" He smiled and kissed him sweetly.

Both of them kissing willing to let the past go and continue a future together. They were prepared this time to go through the struggles of being parents and lovers together. They would stay and have a reason to hold on.

"I love you." Jin said proudly. They embraced one another. Holding each other knowing that they could hold on to each other from now on.

Rose taking a picture before walking out. She had been there all along and there was someone who needed a full report. Jisoo would be getting a text and a call in less than a minute. Rose knew that this time nothing would bring them apart, not even their own selves.

This was the moment she had been waiting for. As a small child she would see only Jungkook being her appa. Sure she had one before but this was the one that raised and loved her. Her own appa would've done it too if he had the chance. Jungkook was great and her papa was happy. She couldn't ask for anything more. Jungkook saved them and they saved him. They wouldn't part from now on. This was a promise.

She had never been more sure of anything in her short life span. Rose recognized that there was more to live and that she had both her loving parents with her. This was the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. She hit send and immediately dialed Jisoo's number. There was no time to waste.

"It happened." Those were the first words that she said to Jisoo. That's all the words she needed to let her unnie know they were together. Because it happened one night like this one.

April 3, 2018