Surreal

I thought I knew what real pain felt like when I broke up with you.

I put myself through hell for too long of a time.

But in all honesty, I didn't know what real pain felt like until I saw the way you looked at her.

It hurt too much to bare because that's the way you used to look at me.

Love is such a f*cking game.

You literally fall in love and crash hard when it's over.

Then before you know it you're letting yourself be put down just to prove your loved ones wrong. You're crying in your car at 2am because you just want him to come back and make you feel loved again.

You don't feel this until that boy that was squeezing your hand in assurance and pecking your lips for good luck, is gone. Then you feel everything. And it's not a good feeling.

You find yourself refusing to throw out his t-shirts because they still smell like him.

You try everything to get him out of your head but in the end, you're left with numbness and aching in your heart.

The thought of you with someone else, I don't like that. I f*cking despise that with all my heart.

They say that once you lose someone, the exact same person never comes back. But you changed from then. You told me you loved me. But is that still true with her around?

Speaking of, why her?

It was me. I was the one who loved you when you gave me too many reasons not to.

I'm not mad at you. I'm just sad.

I thought I was the only person you would ever love. Now you think I'm happy & I'm not.

I'm suffering.

You're the only one who can save me.

 

I don't know why I'm acting like this. You tried to get me back.

I love you, I do.

It just seems like you don't love me until I'm gone.

Believe me, I love you.

I just don't want to love you anymore. Or anyone so don't take it personally.

It's just, love leads to heartbreak.

And I've had a little too much experience with that.

But nevertheless; they ask who's arms you would fall into if you were drunk in a room filled with every boy you've ever loved, who's arms would it be.

It would be yours.

Holland says she's a rebound but I know it's not true.

Now I'm more misrable than ever.

I just want to go back to that stupid Halloween party when we were best friends and all I had to worry about was getting your drunk ass home.

But things change. I changed. And I didn't even mean to.

I don't love him. Mason. I hate him actually.

You're the one I love Dylan.

Always will.

-Carter

~~~~~~

Sequel for the book Daydreams.

You do have to read my book Daydreams to read this book so I will put the external link on the right or look on my profile for the book entitiled Daydreams.

Daydreams ended/first post 6-20-14