Part IV
Should I have stayed with her? What would that have done? I don’t even deserve to be in her presence. What’s wrong with me?! I didn’t even think she was coming to help…Why is this so hard…
Sitting in front of a well-lit fire place was Fenris, not in his usual chair but cross legged on the ground. His head was down, all he could think about was the whole ordeal with Danarius and how much trouble it caused Tifea. The elf then turned to the side to look at his right hand then his left, he then removed the gloves from both his hands only to see the white tattoo markings that ran pass his figure tips to under his hands and arms. He then glared at both of his hands in anger.
It’s because of this isn’t! These damn accursed tattoos! If it wasn’t for these I could have, no, I would have remembered everything from my past… and then… maybe...
Slowly he set both of his hands back on his knees and tried to calm himself down, but it didn’t work. He then squeeze his head, and growled in anger.
“Why is this so hard?!”
“Why is what so hard?”
Immediately when Fenris heard Tifea’s voice he put his hands down back on his knees, and looked towards the fire, “Nothing.” At that moment Fenris tried to recollect his thoughts to come up with something that’d make her leave.
“Shouldn’t you be at home. I told Aveline to take you home once Anders was finished healing you.”
Tifea, without saying anything, walked over to the elf and sat next to him, and started looking at the fire herself.
“I know, but I wanted to see if you were ok… I saw the ritual before I was able to stop it and I could only imagine what kind of pain that must have caused you.”
Fenris was still looking at the fire, now feeling guiltier than before. She was still concerned about him even though she was the one who was so badly injured.
“I also wanted to ask you how long I was out for.”
Confused, the elf gave her a disheartened glimpse.
“What do you mean?”
Tifea fidgeted a little just to be more comfortable on her legs before she answered Fenris’s question.
“Well,” she started, still looking at the fire, “I can only remember when I threw the dagger at Danarius then waking up at Anders’s place… everything in between that, is a blur.”
Fenris then looked back at the fire half upset and half grateful at the fact that she couldn’t remember their conversation, as he began to remember some of the stupid things he said to her. Then a horrible thought hit him. The poison made her forget all of that and it almost killed her, the idea of this immediately made him think about what might happen in the future. What if Danarius comes back and they are all not as lucky as they were this night. Fenris, knowing that he’d be the only one left alive if Danarius decided to kill them all, couldn’t bare the idea of Tifea dying because of him. Or an even worse, the idea that he would be the one to kill her out of cold blood because he was unable to remember her or even remember that he loved her.
Fenris was quiet for a long time, then Tifea saw his head go down a little more, she could only wonder what he was thinking about. She then saw him lift his head a bit, but she could tell that his mood wasn’t any better.
“You know that this might happen again,” whispered Fenris as he stared into the fire.
Tifea instantly knew what he was thinking and got up. She moved around him until she was able to position herself in his lap. She tried her best to hold back her tears as she leaned against him, but she wasn’t too successful.
