Phan Oneshots

Unnamed

(LOOK I FINALLY DID SHIT lol)

"Phil!" Dan called out worry laces in every syllable.

"Yea?" Phil tried to hide all the sadness he'd been trying to hold in.

"Come here! I'm in the lounge"

Phil walked down towards the lounge trembling slightly.

"Yea?"

"Come sit next to me." Dan says patting the empty space next to him, the blue eyed boy took a seat smiling slightly at the boy who made his heart flutter but the smile was fake.

"What's up?" Phil asks his eyes a dull blue. Dan stared at him, the glean in his best friends eyes were gone. The smile on his lips was obviously fake.

"What's wrong Phil?" Dan asks looking at his best friend, "you haven't uploaded in a month. You're not the same anymore Phil. You don't truly smile. You don't laugh. You're not my Phil."

Phil's blood boiled. What once was sadness and fear became anger.

"I'm sorry Dan!" He spat. "I'm sorry I'm a human being and have bad days! I'm so tired of pretending to be happy! Guess what Dan?! IM NOT HAPPY! I'm human too Daniel!" With that he stands up and starts walking away. Phil's heart beat fast against his chest, almost painfully.

"Phil...I'm sorry." Dan says grabbing Phil's wrist and turning him around slowly.

"No Dan, you're not. Why am I the only one who had has to have a smile on my face! You don't know how it's like inside Dan you-"

"Ph-"

"You DON'T know what it's like to be me Dan! You call yourself my friend but its like you don't even know me!" Phil personally was shocked by his own words, he didn't mean them. He loved Dan and didn't want to hurt him but he was angry at everyone, at the Internet, at his family, at the cup he broke in the morning, and EVERYTHING.

"I use to know you Phil!" Dan screamed interrupting Phil and taking both of them by surprise at Dans outburst.

"I use to know you Phil" Dan repeated more quietly, "you want to know how? Because you told me everything Phil. This isn't you! I'm not saying you should always smile Phil, I'm just says that the Phil I know always tried hard to think positive and when he can't he talks to ME about it. He doesn't keep it in. Please Phil."

Dans voice was soft and steady as it reached towards Phil. Suddenly every ounce of anxiety and anger drained out of him. He leaned against the wall and slid down till he hit the floor.

"I'm sorry Dan. I-I just...everything is going wrong I don't know anymore"

"Tell me what's wrong." Dan sits down next to Phil shoulders touching.

"A few weeks ago after I posted a video I was scrolling through the comments and people are says that I changed, that I'm not the same as what I use to be. I don't know what to do. I want them to be happy and like me but I understand that they don't HAVE to." Phil took a deep breath continuing. "Then a a week after that my brother called...he said my parents are getting a divorce and my mum won't talk to me and I don't understand. Everything is going wrong Dan everything. Everything is coming to an end, all the doors are closing in my face and the only one open is the one I wish was locked."

"Aren't I the one that's suppose to have the existential crisis?" Dan asked nudging Phil's shoulder earning a smile from his friend.

"Is this what it's like to be Dan Howell?"

"More or less." Dan grinned slowly his hand reached towards Phil's hand. Dan laced their fingers together blushing slightly. Phil looked down at their hands and felt another door open he smiled for the first time in weeks and tightened his grip on Dans hand. Tentatively, Dan rested his head on Phil's shoulder. Phil responded by resting his head in top of Dan's. They stayed like that for a while before Dan spoke up.

"I'll always be here for you Phil, don't forget that. You mean a lot to me Phil okay? I'm here to talk and cry with you if I have to." Dan smiles looking at Phil's blue eyes. They were still kind of dull and slightly filled with sadness but Dan could see hope in there and affection.

Phil's eyes wondered over his best friends face. He'd looked at him so many times but no matter how many times he looked at Dan he couldn't breath especially having him this close.

Dan brushed the tip of his fingers over Phil's pale skin mesmerized at the difference of skin tone.

"You really mean a lot to me Phil Lester." Dan whispered looking at his friend, lips inches apart. Slowly he closed the space. This is what his heart desperately ached for.

Phil's eyes closed as he felt shocks inside him. Dan was cupping his cheek softly pulling him closer and Phil felt safe. He let all his worries slip away, for now. He instead focused on Dan and the kiss that was so intense and desperate.