Realisation

27

Sometimes it feels like I fell from the stars, it feels like I broke all my bones on the way down.

These days it feels like I will never be able to escape from the chasm I pushed myself into.

You were the one supposed to stand by my side, pull me up from oblivion. But now you are not here, your wings carried you away, floating off into the sunset. I doubt you even remember me anymore.

All we are is just smoke on the breeze now, the ashes on the ground of the places we left in cinders. Scattered on the wind, twisting in the storms. We burned so brightly we blinded ourselves, lashing and howling at the heartbreak that singed our love. Clawing for freedom from the crevasses we fell into.

Begging for some darkness, to hide behind, to find shelter in, shelter from the raging wild fire all around us. I loved you more than anyone, but still it wasn't enough. I found you through the flames, just as you found me, but we both burned too brightly to be able to be reached by the other.

Love is never enough, to save someone, to save yourself, it is never enough. Love does not heal, it hurts. It does not mend or care, it cannot save you, only darkness can do that.

Only eternal darkness can keep you from the sun, from pain. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, but if you ever remember me, I will not be there - To help you and heal you.

You wished for peace, you wished for escape, well here it is. I know you will regret it, but we promised to protect each other. To keep each other safe and out of harm, no matter the cost. So here it is, my last gift to you, you can be free of the chains I gave you. You can fly and soar without having to be tied to the ground by the bindings I lashed around you, by the pain I caused you.

I saw you through the fire and I kept you close to me. But cages shall not entrap you, you shall no longer be locked away. I set you free. I embrace the darkness with an open heart, a broken soul and a mind scorched by smoke. But all pain is lost when you reach here, the shimmering black, where I shall live among the stars.