Realisation

14

I feel so lost. So empty and missing. Missing part of myself.

It's because of what I did.

It's because you never loved me.

It's because I've never loved myself.

I don't regret it now, my life. How can I regret that which I think I'll miss?

It feels so final to put this behind me. To move on. To leave.

My heart does not beat anymore. When I thought there would be some way of fixing it I was wrong. I was wrong and now I'll pay the price.

I've lost.

I'm sorry I'm leaving you behind. My heart. My mind. My soul.

You deserve so much more than me.

You deserve so much more than me.

How did I ever think I was good for you? How did I ever think I added something to you? That I was a part of you?

I am not.

Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not anything.

I am not anything compared to you.

You built me back up again and it is I who have broken even after all you have done. I am so sorry. So sorry. I can't.

I can't hurt you anymore. I won't. You deserve so much more than this nothingness that is all I can give you.