Unlove You in 5 Ways

#1

REMEMBERING
I will start by trying to remember everything about you. How you cried when the devil in corporate suit sends Nanay Sheena away, how you "marry" mama Apollo, how you said that you will only love Nikita when pigs learn to fly. How you travel for hours from London to Paris just to meet her. How Yza would tell you how the sweets tastes like. How your dark eyes pierce my soul through the black ink in yellowed parchment. How you were able to send shivers down my spine, make me feel goosebumps and the whole animal kingdom in my stomach.

I will think about how your car crashed the glass wall of Yckos' shop, how you kissed Nikita in the mouth and how sweet it is when you call her "Pretty baby". How much you try to deny in front of Yza Joan and Nanay Sheena that you and Niki were a thing. How hard it is for you to hide your jealousy. I will remember the anger you felt when Niki and Xander kissed. How afraid you are that you are just a challenge and Niki would leave the moment she got you. I will remember your first wedding and the 30 more others.

I remember the first time I called you Yto ko, how I giggled with the nickname DemonYto. How people would guess who the heck I am in love with. How they give me questioning stares when I say I am marked by a Consunji. Everyone is curious who Yto Jose is in my life, not everyone knows you, and people I know would tell me that a fictional character is not something you fall for. I will unlove you by remembering the Valentine letter I wrote for you. Yes, I wrote a valentine letter for you, while others gave their cards and explosion boxes and gifts to their love ones, partners, parents, teachers and friends, I on the the other hand just stared at the endless card I made with the first page saying "From my world to yours, Yto Jose Ybarra Consunji" The red letters shows from the black background, yes, I used black as my background, dark as your eyes and dark as the void in my chest knowing we will never happen. And red, to symbolize my love for you, and the strong emotion you have inside you and the ruthlessness in you.

I will remember how ruthless you are, though it can be justified just by saying you are the first son of The Sancho Consunji. How you were able to punish Helios, teach Yael a lesson, be a good husband, good brother, good father, good head of the family all at the same time. I will remember all of these to remind me that you are perfect, you are perfect because you are fictional, you are perfect because you are living in a perfect world, you are perfect, more reason why we do not belong. I will remember all of it, and make sure I miss nothing.