Unlove You in 5 Ways

#4

ACCEPTING

It is hard for me but after a long time of thing it through, after all the confused days, and heartbreaks and emptiness and deep breathes and sighs, I have now accepted the facts of my life. And these facts are as follows:

1. Yto, you and I do not live in the same world

2. You are not real

3. Your world will never exist

4. I have to live my REAL LIFE

5. Consunji is real, but not your clan

6. I do not understand what I really feel

7. I am too attached with the Consunji Family

8. Ours is the love story that will never happen

9. I'll never get a chance to meet you

10. There are things that cannot be

My heart slowly broke into million pieces as I accept these truths but I stopped breaking the moment I decide to embrace it. All the wounds were slowly healing, piece by broken piece I'm becoming whole again. 

It is hard, like really really hard but there is no braver act than accepting the truth. It had always been my dream to be a Consunji by marriage but no, it's not for me.

I would like to elaborate fact number 4. Instead of living a life where I wish for you, I should deal with my reality first. Focus on my studies, improve myself, learn new things, spend time with the people around aim for the best. Before I turn into a drama queen I should accept my responsibilities first, like not making faces when I was asked to do the dishes or smile and socialize in every family affair even if my insides feel like a tightening knot. I must live the now first before anything else, I must focus on whats real than my dreams and fantasies in life.

Fact number 8. Ours is the love story that will never happen. Ha! Its supposed to break my heart but we are pass that now. I am now on the phase of accepting so I am seeing it at a brighter side. I no longer have to guess who my TOTGA would be cause Yto Jose Ybarra Consunji is my greatest what if. I am not sure if I can call you the one that got away cause you are never mine to start with. And that is enough for me.

10. There are things that cannot be. Not everyone would stay in our lives, and there are things that is not supposed to be, like you being mine, or you being on my world, or us. Heartbreaking. But as I have sid, we are pass hurting, lets look at this at this on a brighter color. Some things cannot be because it will hinder those we deserve, it may our destiny, it may chnge us. Maybe some things are not meant to be not because its not what we deserve but because its not what we really want. Sometimes we dont really know who or what we want, we are too focused on who we want now, not knowing if we still want that 5, 10, 20 years from now. Maybe Yto is just a phase in my life. Maybe I want you now but not for forever.

Maybe everything is said and done, so this is me accepting our truths Yto Jose Ybarra Consunji.