Unlove You in 5 Ways

#2

FORGETTING
After I remembered everything about you, I would pile them up, write it down maybe, and forget about it. Unloving someone is easier if you shared no memories at all. I would forget about everything and live as if we never happened, as if you never existed in my life, as if everything was just a dream, or better yet never remember anything at all.
Its hard, I know. But its harder to wake up every single day knowing you are and will never be able to spend even a minute with the one you love. Its hard to love someone from a different dimension. I tried so hard for years, I loved other men, men who exists in my world, men I can text, chat or call. If I am brave enough, I can even meet them in person, some are even in the same town or city as I am. But, no, they were not men, they were mere boys compared to you. Yes, they make me feel butterflies on my stomach, my heart can do some sommersaults when I see them but I dont know how to make my heart call their name, I cannot make my eyes see hearts with the sight of them, I dont get goosebumps from their smiles, no mental blocks when talking to them. But no, I must be true to my word, I must forget you, in any way possible, in any way I can, I must, I should forget you.
I would wish for a fairy to come true so I could ask her to erase memories of you, I wish to have the type of amnesia where I only forget about you, I wish I was never curious with what unrequited love is, I wish I never fell for a devil. If only the universe would grant me a wish, I will not ask for fortune and fame, I would only ask for the memories to fade, to vanish, to disappear.
How will I be able to forget someone like you, it is very very hard. I tried for years but then I failed a lot of times and here I am prepared to fail, trying to forget you when you are so near. So near you can be reached by my fingertips. Everything reminds me of you. The tie, the coat the beard, chocolates, football field, London, Paris, bullet trains, the rain, black Ferrari car, Consunji, I can see you in every man who denies their feelings, I can see you in every protective kuya, I see you in all the dark eyes, I see you in Yael, I see you in yohann, I see you in Hyacinth, I see you in almost everything. I see you everywhere that it made me realize how attached I am to you, that it made me realize that there is so much to forget. Sometimes it feels like you are real and the memories are not the ones made by the brain but something that really happened. But DemonYto, Ytoko I have to forget you.
I am afraid i wont be able to delete you from my life, cause the file is just too big, to big to fit in my heart, too big to fit in my soul, too big to fit in my whole being. You are too much Yto Jose, too much that it made me realize I need to Unlove you, and this is step two; Forgetting you