Unlove You in 5 Ways

#3

DENIAL
I will deny you. I will deny your "existence" -in my life- I will deny the fact that I did fell in love with a fictional character.

Maybe I wasn't really in love with you, maybe I'm just in love with your dark eyes, or your beautiful face or the fact that you are a fcking Consunji. Maybe I wasn't really in love with you, maybe I love the fact that your character is such my type, someone whose afraid to say how he feels but shows it, someone possessive, someone that makes his girl his, no questions asked. Someone that is so smart in almost everything, someone almost perfect. Someone who loves the girls in the family so so so so much. Maybe I am not in love with you, maybe I am in love with the thought of you being the son of THE SANCHO CONSUNJI, or the fact that you will be the next head of the family. 

Maybe this is just an infatuation. Do you move on from infatuation? I don't know. My head is filled with MAYBEs trying to deny you, but without kidding maybe I wasn't really in love with you. Maybe I am just jealous with Nikita because she is pretty and rich and nice. Maybe I was just drawn because yours is the first story with bed scenes that I read. Maybe the 14 year old me doesn't really know what love is, maybe I am just into the story and being a woman, I get to choose you. 

Yto Jose, I do not know how I really feel, maybe this is love, this is something unnamed, like a newly discovered disease, no one is able to diagnose. Did I really loved you Yto?

What if I never did love you? What if all this time I thought I am in love with you but I am not? What if I thought I am in love with you and I got used to that feeling that I never got a chance to assess how I truly feel? What if after all these years, days, months, and years of longing for you, wishing to see you, hold you, hear you in person, is not love but curiosity?

I am now filled with questions. The what ifs and maybes is all over my head. What if you are real? Would I still choose you? Would I still love you? Would I get to the point where I would want to unlove you?