Reality Bites - Wattys 2018 Shortlist

Chapter 91 - Your Turn

My Russian God was a freaking mess. A seething pile of self-loathing and guilt – and I honestly didn't know what to do to help him. I got him out of the shower, into some pajama pants and a TShirt. We went through into our room, and I thought to maybe distract him with some sexercise, but while he was returning my kisses, he didn't deepen them the way he usually would.

We were still too fragile to go running, given we'd both technically had broken leg bones. And there's NO WAY I was going to suggest we go to the gym, as I honestly believed even seeing a sparring ring would make things ten times worse.

Dimitri was sitting up in bed pretending to read a Western novel, one hand stroking my head as I lay against his shoulder. I was wracking my brains trying to find something to pull him out of his depressive spiral when I felt the tickle of Lissa opening the bond to my mind.

'You free?'

'Yeah. Just sitting in bed with Dimitri. You wanna come in?'

'Nah, it's ok. I don't want to disturb you.'

'It's ok - I'm just sitting here, and he's reading. Come join us.'

"Lissa's coming in," I mumbled to Dimitri. His hand stopped for a moment before resuming its gentle stroking. There was a brief knock at the door, and Lissa stepped inside. I could see she was a little surprised to see Dimitri in pajamas. Despite everything she still wasn't used to seeing that more personal side of him.

I patted the bed next to me, and she came lay down on my other side, curling up on her side and resting her head on my lap. It would have looked odd to anyone else – but the three of lying on the bed together was oddly comforting. I guess this was the reality of being bonded to two people. I could tell she was hurting, but I wasn't sure if she wanted Dimitri to hear what she had to say, so I used our bond.

'What's up, Lissa? You ok?'

'I guess so. I'm worried about how Christian is going to take this. He doesn't usually show his emotions, but this is going to crush him. I just wish I knew how to help him through it.'

'Believe me, I understand,' I replied, my thoughts mentally flicking to Dimitri.

'Oh Rose. I'm sorry – how is he going?'

Shit. I hadn't meant to lay that on her, too. I was still getting used to controlling my thoughts now we had a two-way bond.

'Honestly? Not great. I can't find a way to get through to him. I mean – he's going through the motions, but he can't stop blaming himself. I need to find some way to reconnect with him.'

'Have you tried...'

'Der – that was the first thing I tried!'

'Well, how else have you reconnected in the past?'

'Usually, we'd spar, and he'd teach me some new move – but I think fighting would be the worst thing we could do right now.'

I mentally sighed. Maybe I should ask Pavel if he had any ideas. He was used to helping Guardians working through trauma, and he'd been able to get through to Dimitri in the past.

'At least you can fight. I felt so useless standing there, not able to defend myself. Christian could have used his fire, but being a Spirit user means I'm basically defenseless!'

I did feel for her. I could only imagine how it would feel to be so impotent. Even without my stakes, I'd had my combat skills, so I'd never have felt unarmed like she did.