Why Did It Happen?

(6)

Mary and Charles were inconsolable, but it was actually Dan’s reaction that frightened me the most. His face was blank. He had put on a completely impassive expression. They buried her with a heavy heart. Dan put a rose on her grave and then walked away, with that same expression. It scared me to the core because I had never seen him that way. I followed him to the porch and saw him leaning on one of the pillars with his hands inside his front pockets.

“Hey! Are you alright?” I asked.

“Yes. It’s just hard to realize that I am never going to see my mother again”, he replied in a sombre tone.

“Look at me”, I said, bringing him face to face with him. I looked him in the eye and said, “She has not gone anywhere. You can still feel her presence. Unless you stop loving her, she will never die.”

“Dan, you have to take care of Mary and Charles. They depend upon you. You cannot leave them alone right now. Go to them. I’ll take care of the guests.” Dan nodded in agreement and we went back.

By 4:00pm, all the guests had gone, Mary and Charles had gone back home and Dan and I had returned to the hostel.

“Thank you Scarlette. I really couldn’t have managed without you today. Thank you so much”, Dan said. I smiled at him and replied, “Just give me a call whenever you need me.” I had started going towards my room, when I turned back and said, “And please don’t thank me ever again if you consider me your friend.”

I couldn’t locate him the next day. When inquired, his friends said they had not seen him the whole day and the whole of yesterday evening. I grew tense. I called him but he wasn’t picking up his phone. I remembered that there was a certain spot near the river Cherwell where he loved going whenever he felt forlorn. So, I missed that day’s class and went to find him.

He was sitting there, beside the river. I went and sat beside him. I noticed his eyes were watery.

“You really like sitting beside the river, don’t you?” I asked.

“Yes. Yes, I do”, he said, a bit shocked at first because he had not expected anyone to follow him to the river. “I love being amidst nature – be it rivers, or mountains, or forests. All of them share a few common features, like the chirping of birds, the soft rustle of tree leaves, and the light breeze that flows by, whispering its secrets in our ears. But the most important thing that nature grants us is peace. It gives us solitude when we are stuck in the middle of a pandemonium and want to abscond from the real world, which is trying its level-best to shatter us into pieces.” I stared at him for a few seconds, trying to study him. Finally I lost my patience and said, “Dan, what is it?”

“Nothing”, he replied with a nonchalant shrug.

“Tell me what is it or I’ll throw you in the river right now!” I scolded.

“First of all, I know how to swim. Secondly, it’s nothing.” I could see a tear roll down his cheek.

“Dan, you can trust me. You can confide in me whatever you want and I won’t judge you. Just, trust me.” I gave him an understanding look. He looked me in the eyes and I don’t know what he saw in there, but after a few seconds, he broke down.

“My mother was like an angel. After a weary day, her exuberant smile or her bubbly voice would alone cheer me up. She was a strong woman. Even after enduring such hardships, that spark in her eyes, or that zest for living life, never left her. She always had faith in herself; in us; in LIFE, even when life itself, had given up on her. And now, she is gone. I’ll never see those eyes, that smile or here that voice again.” I went closer to him because I could hear his voice break, and took him in my arms. It was difficult seeing him like that. He was crestfallen. One cannot expect the sun to suddenly lose its shine, or the stars to lose their glimmer.

That day, he cried in my arms for 10-15 minutes. I did not stop him. I didn’t want him to store any more of his agony inside him. It was probably the first time that he was crying in front of someone, and it is not wrong to show your vulnerability once in a while to a family member or a close friend.

Hi!! So what do you guys think?? Storing one's feeling and dying inside is right, or being vulnerable once in a while is right?? Do share your views :)