✓ DEAR PETER → PETER PARKER ¹

three.

chapter three.
( iii. check your door )

PETER COULD ONLY SEEM TO THINK ABOUT ONE THING, THE VIDEOS. He sat at school, his pen bouncing fervently on the desk. The glares of his school mates didn't seem to slow him down either, which to their misery made things so much worse.

He just wanted to get back to the tower, day hello to May and Tony, going straight up to his room right after. But he knew that either of the two parental figures would make him sit down, answer questions tirelessly about how he's doing.

He knew his response too, it would be in that same monotone voice he took up after her death. He would say 'I'm fine, I'm getting better' and they would both suspect something but neither of them would bring it up.

That was the daily routine that he lived through, the routine that he so desperately wanted to get out of. He hated being asked if he was okay, of course he wasn't, of course he isn't. He shouldn't be anyways, he would assure himself. He only wanted his best friend back and he can't get her back.

So, he clinged to the things that reminded him of her. The playlist the two of them made for each other, all of which had songs he said he would never listen to that are now his favorites. That's what was blasting through his earbuds the minute he stepped into the common area of the tower, only to face more than just the faces of May and Tony.

In front of him stood the entire group of the avengers, most of them carrying extremely worried expressions. Especially Steve, who to Peter's surprise looked like a worried and very frantic mother who's trying to make everything seem okay.

Cautiously the young boy decided to take out his earbuds, causing the music to stop blessing his ears. That's probably the most depressing thing to happen to me today, Peter sarcastically said to just himself. He had been doing that a lot lately.

"What's up guys?"

"Peter, well see May and I were worried," Tony started to come towards the boy, "so we looked through your room and we found these."

These things Tony held in his hand, flashing the boy were the videos. His heart began to race, making the best of his own heart the only thing he could hear. If he had the videos, does that mean he's watched them.

"We're not going to take them away," May sighed, a small smile forming on her face, "we're just somewhat disappointed that you didn't tell us about them, Peter."

"Well, I thought that if I just dealt with them, on my own you know, I would be able to get through it. I mean, we're superheroes right? That's what we do, right? We're supposed to be able to live with death, it happens all around us, we're supposed to be the strong ones with the ability to overcome these things," his eyes welded with tears, but Peter fought them back. He could feel his heart shatter just from the words he said, if he didn't believe any of what he said, how could they?

"Peter, grieving is something we all deal with," Steve started, coming closer to the young boy, placing his abnormally large hand on his abnormally small shoulder, "being a hero doesn't mean you just have to get over it. You have a right to feel the way you do and no one can take that from you, you got that? Just remember kid, if anyone tries, you know the avengers."

Peter let out a small chuckle, a slight smile forming on his face. For the first time in a while he laughed from something other than the videos.

"Kid, do you want us to watch this video with you?"

"Well yeah, I just hope she doesn't say anything embarrassing."

"Oh Peter, it's probably nothing that we hadn't already known," Tony joked, placing the video into a slot to put it on the television. He wanted to know what made this girl matter so much to Peter, obviously something had to have.

"Hey there Peter," the green eyed girl popped up onto the screen, the rest of the group could see his appeal.

"I know, I know, I look terrible in this. After all, I stole this hoodie from you and didn't you always say that you look terrible in everything you own?" Peter laughed, the girl always brought up points from the past.

"I did," he whispered out, wishing that she was there to listen. Who knew, though, maybe she was and in ghost form she just laughed and nodded with him.

"Okay, so, I wanted to talk about the first time we went through the idea of death together. Just painting the picture here, we were what? Twelve maybe?" Peter nodded, again believing someone was watching. Of course, Tony was. So with a small smile the man ruffled Peters hair.

"I remember distinctly the fact that you came rushing into my house, or apartment, with a box of coloring books, I'm pretty sure there were some KitKats and maybe even a bag of chips. You called it your 'beat cancer' box. I think the most hilarious part of that was the fact you pulled out this," the girl brought out an avengers coloring book, "avengers coloring book and told me that they were going to kick cancers butt for me."

Steve let out a laugh, he could only imagine the fact that Peter was that child.

"But I think most of all I remember the way that you were always by my side, you told me that you weren't going to let me be alone unless I came back cancer free. That's why I didn't want to tell you about this, Pete, and I know it hurt you. It's just," a sigh left her lips, "you get so caught up on trying to fix something that you can't fix. For once, I wanted to feel normal even though I knew I was dying. You make me feel that Peter, that's another reason for why I didn't tell you. And I'm sorry for that."

The video cut off, that was the entirety of the third video, that was what he had gone through the school day for. He was mildly disappointed, but the group wasn't. They could see that all in all this was going to help him.

"How are there seven videos about this? Is it all like this?" Sam questioned the young boy, making him look back to him with a shocked smile.

"I wouldn't know, I havent had the chance to actually, you know, finish them all."