Fallen Angels

Chapter 2: Rene

My life is not my own. I’m not in control of anything I do. I don't control my mind or body, others do what they want with me. My mother hates me, she thinks I steal all the low-lives she invites home.  Guys wanted to fuck me soon as I hit puberty at ten including my father. He climbed on top of me at nights when my mother was asleep and had his way with me. My mother heard him some nights but she just stuffed her head in her pillow and pretended she didn't hear me scream and plead her name. I tried to beg her to make him stop but she would slap me and say I was being ungrateful and I should thank him for providing for us. It went on for awhile until one of my teachers seen bruises on my arm and started asking questions. My father went to prison and my mother never forgave me. She spends her nights dope up on some drug or tonguing down some guy she met at a bar that smells like piss and failure. Every guy she brings home is just like him or worst and always do the same thing, they fuck me after they're done with her. I'm used to it now, same damn routine.They're all the same, men. Only caring how far your legs spread and how much pain they can cause you. I don't trust them. The hell with them. The hell with people in general. You know I never actually had a boyfriend. Surprising right? Well its true. What guy would want the girl who lost her virginity to her father. People at school eventually found out about my father and the other assholes who fucked me and well you can imagine how I was treated. I was the school slut and I can never escape that, so I dropped out. My mother couldn't care less what I did as long as I had a job and was paying her. I fucking hate everyone. I keep to myself, block everyone out. I just watch, I’m good at reading people definitely guys. I never speak and when I do it’s always yes because I do and think anything people tell me to. Am broken, no one can fix me. My mind is fucked up and dark so I try not to think. I can't escape pain even when  I try to close my eyes which is rare since am always awake. I got to watch my back. If I don’t, who will? right. I have these dreams that am being taken away by a beast that holds pain but not just mine but all the pain of the girls that every suffered the hurt I did and still do. When  the beast touches me I can feel all of their suffering and sadness. There is always a boy there that looks as helpless as me but he's held down, he tries to save me but it’s useless. What should I except, no one can save you. You're all alone in this world. You are all you got and that’s just the way it is.