Chapter 4: Ruth

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Am tired. Am just so tired. The stress of everything has aged me. I hear Gabe crying and screaming himself awake every night. My heart breaks. I act like I don’t hear him so in the mornings he could save face.  It’s my fault for what has happened to him. I’ve failed him and mom. I should've done more to try to protect him. I put all my time into Gabe to make it up to him. I need too, he has no one else. My father is useless. I pray for us everyday, praying for a better life and for us just to get lead out of our confusion. Me and Gabe used to best friends. We were inseparable, we even in preschool  tried to glue our hands together so they wouldn’t split us up. Now we rarely talk, its not much to talk about anymore. I put on a fake smile for him pretending that everything is good. If he really knew what I really felt inside, it would break him.

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