Way Back Home - [Linstead] ✓

3. - It's Like That I've Stopped Breathing, But Completely Aware

Hank offered to take them out for lunch, and they went to this place that Erin and Justin used to love eating at. Robin was really excited about the whole thing. Almost every sentence that came out of that little mouth started with "Granpa, did you know that..." and she went on and on by telling him stuff about her school, her friends, what she and mommy do on weekends, what she got for her last birthday, everything.

When they returned to Hank's house, it was a little after 3 and Robin felt completely comfortable around Hank already. Erin was glad he didn't bring any questions about Jay and her in front of the little girl.

"Mommy, I'm sleepy." Robin yawned and looked up to her mom with sleepy eyes as they entered the house.

Erin gently picked her up and said to her "Oh I bet, you barely slept last night, you little monster." Then she turned to Hank who was just hanging up his jacket "Can I take her to my room?"

He only smiled to her, saying "Erin, you don't have to ask, this is your home, too."

She just returned the smile and headed up the stairs, trying not to make any sudden moves, since Robin was drifting off on her shoulder already.

She opened the first second door to right, the ones who still had a sign made of dark blue wooden letters that spelled Erin. Because of the new surroundings, Robin lifted up her head and looked around. So did Erin. The room was pretty much the same as the day she moved out. 

There was a window on the left wall, and her bed under it. On the opposite side of the room, there was a big sunflower painted on the wall. She remembered she painted it on with Camille one sunny spring day.

The walls were pastel orange and the room felt warmer because of it.

"Here you go, baby," she put Robin down on the bed "You want me to take your cape off?"

"Mommy, it's a cloak." Robin groaned. "And no, leave it on." she said just above whisper and pulled the hood over her head. She cuddled into one of the pillows and fell alseep instantly.

Erin tiptoed downstairs, in order not to wake her sleeping daughter up.

She went to pick a glass from the cupboard and poured some water into it.

"So," Hank started, sitting at the table "What is this? How do you plan to do it?"

Erin sat down next to him, taking a sip from her glass "You're not going to ask me why did I keep her a secret for five years?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"I don't really see a point in that," he shook his head "We can't change the past. But I am glad you brought her to Chicago now," he smiled. He did that a lot recently. It freaked Erin out. Just a little.

"Am, well, the hospital called me in the middle of the night, saying I'm Jay's emergency contact and that his partner instructed to call me. I was really worried, so I decided to come."

"Just like that?"

"Am, yeah. I wanted Robin to meet Jay, you and the unit one day, anyways. I think I waited long enough," she shrugged her shoulders. "I think it was just me that wasn't prepared. I was scared, mostly because I left things like that."

"Hm," was all he let out. It didn't seem like he was going to say anything, so she continued.

"And then at the hospital, I just walked in with Robin, and when I think back now, I don't think that was the best move. But I was so concerned about Jay, and honestly I don't know in which other way I could do it. And then... then Hailey came. With a kid," she looked down into the depths of her almost empty glass "About the same age as Robin." She looked away, through the window, where the afternoon rays of sunshine were sneaking into the house. "It seems that he moved on pretty quick," she sighed, drank the water that was left and stood up to take the glass to the sink.

"Erin, I'm not the one to tell you this, but he-" Hank started, but was quickly interrupted by his foster-daughter.

"I really don't want to hear about it right now, Hank." She said, leaning on the kitchen counter, her back still to him. She had to hold the tears in this time. This time, she won't let them fall. She's strong, she can live with the fact that he's moved on, even though she's definetely not.

Hank opened his mouth again, but Erin pulled out her phone and headed to the living room "I should call my boss, tell her what's up."

In that moment, someone rang the door bell. Hank sighed and got up, not wanting any visitors right now. He had to explain things to Erin. She shouldn't be hurting like that.

He opened the door, and as surprised at the sight. "Hailey. What's going on?"

The pretty blonde smiled sadly "Is Erin here? Can I talk to her?"

"She is, but I don't think-"

"Sarge, please. I don't want her to think anything that's not true. She went through enough."

He sighed again. That was actually true. Maybe she'll listen to Hailey. "Okay," he motioned for her to come inside.

They walked to the kitchen and he offered her to take a seat. "Want anything to drink?" he asked politely "She'll be here right away, she just had to make a phone call," he explained.

"I'm good, thanks," she smiled and turned her head to Erin as she came back. "Erin, hey, hear me out this time, please."

Erin carefully eyed Hank and he thought it would be the best to leave the two women to talk alone. "I'm just going to..." he said and pointed towards the tv in the living room amd awkwardly walked away.

Erin slowly sit down at the table and looked at Hailey "So...? You're here to tell me...?"

"I saw the way you looked at me, and Jay as well as I walked in the room with Lily."

Lily. Jay once said he'd like to name his daughter Lily if he had one. She remembered it clearly, like it was yesterday.

"And it's not like that, I swear," Hailey continued "Lily isn't ours. At least... not mine."

Erin slowly nodded, taking it all in. "So, you two are..."

"No, no. Don't worry about that," Hailey smiled to her. "To be honest, I never think he truly got over you. Just don't tell him I said that, please," she smirked a little "He's going to kill me."

At those words, Erin looked up at her with wide eyes and her heart broke just a little. Did she hear right? Was Hailey with him in the past? How did she know these things? "But how..."

"Erin, I don't think I'm the one who you should discuss this with," she reached for Erin's hand and the corners of her lips turned upwards a little "He said to tell you you should drop by with Robin tomorrow morning."

Erin was scanning Hailey's eyes, being very unsure of what she should do. "I... I'll think about it," she forced a little smile. She was actually pretty grateful for the pretty detective to come and talk to her. But... if Lily was Jay's and not Hailey's... who was her mother? Was Jay still with her? What did Upton mean with saying he never got over her? Was there any chance she could get him back?

a/n

heyo. i hope you liked it, vote and comment if you did, please tell me what you think. you've been great so far i love you all.

but for that one or two people for saying only 'update soon'; just fyi, comments like this don't bring motivation, sometimes they even take it away. just saying:) have a nice day m8s