love?LIE

death feels like the only way

jadas p.o.v

after everything that happened today I decided to go to a hotel for a couple of days to get away from everything and clear my mind. I couldn't believe the shit I heard today. as I got myself situated and comfortable I had a incoming call from kj. as much as I didn't want to I answered it. "what "I said dryly. "what u mean what girl? where tf are you? I haven't heard from you all day. I been going crazy without you baby what's going on? " he asked seeming concerned. "bullshit kj bullshit I don't wanna hear it!  now your so concerned but when I was inna hospital bed you were nowhere to be found! I didn't even get a call from you asking am I  okay?.you really pitiful you know that? I don't know know why I spent my time on you. you ain't shit we're done." I didn't even give him a chance to explain I honestly didn't want to hear it. I now officially have nobody but myself. I mean I still had asia but she's more like a fuck buddy not someone I go to my problems with . speaking of sex I could use something to relieve my stress. I picked up My phone and dialed Asia's number slowly still thinking. she answered on the second ring. "Hey bae I heard about everything that happened ,are you Okay? do you wanna talk about it ?" she asked sincerely. "nah baby I'm good but I want you right now u tryna swing through or what? " I said flirtaceously. "yea where you at babe? " she asked. "Asia don't tell nobody!  but I'm at bestwestern hotel downtown room b316 " I replied.  she said see me soon and hung up. I took a shower and shaved and everything before asia got there. I let myself drip dry and put on a pink fluffy robe and waited. about thirty minutes went by and there was a knock at the door. I looked through the peephole And seen that it was Asia. I lightly kissed her on the lips and hugged her. I quickly shut the door behind her. "owwww girl I'm taking my boo thing here tomorrow .how long you staying? " she asked nervously. I have no clue y she was nervous but I just smiled and said for a week. me and Asia cuddled and watch tv cause my depression hit me and I no longer felt like fucking. Asia got up and got in the shower as I latest there naked with my eyes closed just thinking about my life. 20 minutes later out of nowhere I felt something. it felt really good. I must of really been tweaking Cause I had no clue what it was until I opened my eyes and looked down. it was Asia eating me out. my back arched so deep at the feel of her eating my puss wuss. then all of a sudden I started thinking. I hopped out of bed fast as shit at the thought that she was eating me out and I might have HIV and she knew this. what was wrong with this bitch? she must be crazy!  I pulled my robe on and told Asia to come back another time I wasn't feeling it. I quickly drifted off to sleep trying to get away from my thoughts.  I woke up to a long text message from kj.

kj:  baby I swear I didn't know you was in the hospital! you know I would never let u go through anything alone. I don't really know whats going on I just know selena said u wouldn't talk to her but she never said y. I'm sorry for whatever I did I love you and I don't want anyone but you. you are my heart. I can't live without you will u please take me back.

I looked at the message and hesitated before I replied but soon enough I did.

me: yess bae I'm sorry too for overeacting .it's just a lot going on. I love you and always will.

kj: I love you more wife but I gotta go ill talk to you later bae.

I simply replied yea and ordered breakfast room service. today was gonna be a good day I had a feeling . I had to get away From everything so I decided to not goto this week either. I had a smile from ear to ear thinking about kj. but for some reason I was still very tired so I decided to take a nap. I woke up from my nap And took my shower doing my hygenial things. I left my hair wet and put a headband on then headed out. as I was walking down the hallway I heard loud sexy moans coming from a room whose door was cracked open. so me being the freak I am I peeked inside. my heart broke in millions of pieces as I realized what I was looking at. the man I was so deeply in love with. the man kj  who I had intentions on marrying fucking my bestfriend  asia senseless. I couldn't move. it was as if my whole body went numb. I just stood there staring not believing what was going on as tears were flowing nonstop from my eyes. kj look at the door and seen me standing there. he looked like he seen a ghost. Soon as he looked at me Asia looked at me. I started to see nothing but red. I ran into the room and pulled asia off of kj by her hair.

Kj tried pulling me off of her but I pulled my shank out of my back pocket and cut him three times. "nigga u said u loved me! " I said as I spat on him.  he fell to the floor heavily bleeding steadily saying he was sorry . I kicked him "it's too late don't be sorry now motherfucker ". I picked asia from the corner where she was crying and sobbing. "jada please don't kill me. bitch you know I love you . how you gone cut me to death everybody makes mistakes ".Asia said begging for mercy.  "haha bitch I ain't gone kill you, imma make you wanna kill yourself. from now on you gone be walking around with 3 toes and 4 fingers!  give me your feet and hands hoe now! " I said as I began cutting her body parts off. "you really thought u was gone sleep with my man and I wasn't gone find out slut? " I yelled at her. I cut all her hair off til the point she looked like little bill. I called the ambulance and gave them the room number then threw the phone at asia. I stared at Khan bleed out one more sec then u headed back to my room. I stared in the mirror and decided to text selena.

me: I forgive you. Never forget about me and turn up at my funeral bitch love you.

I didn't Wait for a reply. I flushed my phone down the toilet. I spotted some bleach and sleeping pills. I took all five sleeping pills then drunk the bleach and layed in the tub Waiting to die....