Unconditional

Attachment

You made me feel so free as you locked me away. Allowing me to feel as if I was only yours. My heart became your ashtray. Used only when needed & strictly for your bad habits.

You told me on the phone one night you wish you never did it . You wish you never broke up with me. As much as I wanted to say the same, all you really ever did was say one thing and do another. You cried to me from time to time. It made me feel special because very few girls had ever gotten to see you so vulnerable, or genuine. But then again I was only an ashtray so which meant I always convenient to you.

You knew I'd never stop trying, I was persistent. When you broke me and decided you didn't want damaged goods is when you realized, you carried my pain on your hands. I'd never stop chasing it. The rush. The ability you had to crumble me like a wrapper in a second, but I'd always be there again. I'd always allowed my memories of the boy I loved , to keep me loving you . I kept thinking he was in there somewhere, but I had to realize sooner than later that he became you.
You are what remains of what I held so close to my heart.

I saw the kind of girls you liked to keep close to you. The kinds that drank the same alcohol as the one on your breath. The ones who praised your inconsistency. Encouraging your ignorance and accepting bare minimal. I wasn't meant to be your bare minimum. I wasn't meant to be a "for the moment" girl.