What Do I Need With Love? [A.B.]

Anything Yukon Do, I Honestly Couldn't Give Two Shits About

Thankfully, waking up today wasn't a complete disaster show. My head wasn't on Ale-dickhead's lap. He wasn't smirking down at me with that stupid, sexy smirk.

Wait, no, it's not sexy. It's just stupid.

"And how is everyone back here?" Chris popped his head in with a shit-eating grin. "That is what I would ask if I cared. Coming through, make way." He walked past us, waving his hands in our faces as if the space between the two walls of the economy class was  as small as the aisle of a regular passenger plane.

"Where are you taking us next?" LeShawna asked. "Ugh, can it please be some place where there's no pinball of any kind?"

"Or pandas." DJ added fearfully.

"Or candied fish tails." Noah finalized.

Owen snorted awake at the mention of candy fishtails. "Huh?! What?! Fishtails?! Where?!"

"Our next destination is everything you've just asked for."

I rolled my eyes and sat up. "Everything we've just asked for and everything we're bound to hate."

"You are not wrong, Catalina." Chris laughed.

Not long after, Chris left us alone and the plane started shaking roughly. The seatbelt light above us blinked. I quickly fastened my seatbelt and took a deep breath. The plane shook again and I unconsciously gripped the person next to me's hand.

Can you get who it was?

Yup, Ale-headass.

"¿Miedo, amor?" He asked, smirking down at me.

I glared back and gave a rough squeeze to his hand. "¿Quieres morir ahora mismo?" I snapped.

"No moriremos. Eso es demasiado papeleo para Chris." Alejandro replied, wincing slightly. Beside him, Owen was wailing loudly

"WE'RE GONNA DIIIIE!!" Alejandro pressed a point in Owen's shoulder, quickly knocking the big guy out.

"Señor, ayúdame ahora..." I sighed, leaning my head against the rumbling wall of the plane.

________________________________

I wish we stayed in the dog pile that we fell into.

Guess where Chris took us? Definitely not somewhere that was pleasantly warm or bearably cold. He took us to the Yukon. The fucking Yukon.

"Crossing the icy river in Canada's most frozen tundra used to be easy. Back when the river was frozen solid. But thanks to global warming- and Owen- the earth is finally becoming a lot more interesting. By which, I mean DEADLY!" Chris lunges at us in attempt to frighten, but there wasn't much of a reaction as we were all to frozen to be scared. "Today's challenge is called; Total Drama The Icicle. Teams must make their way across this watery chasm by jumping from ice floe to ice floe. First team member across must make their way to the dog sleds on the far shore and become the dog." That sure is demeaning. "Pulling the sled all the way to the finish line as you grab the rest of your team along the way at marked meeting points." The path to the finish line was long, steep and everyone was gaping at it, horrified. Understandably. "Sleds are first come, first serve, so move fast." Chris must have finally noted our horrified expressions as he kept talking. "Don't worry. If you fall into the water, we're required to save you. So, we have two divers downstream ready to pull you out." The divers were fucking frozen.

"I'm ready to move. If I keep standing here, I'll fucking freeze." I mumbled through chattering teeth.

"I would never let you freeze, querida." Alejandro purred, his hot breath fanning against my ear.