"Where are you? The shops still clos-"
"The shops shut" I interrupt, my hand wiping my wet face weakly- spreading the salty tears instead of wiping them away. I'm a mess.
"Are you ill? Should I bring you some sou-" I interrupt him with a long sigh as I think of what to say without breaking down to him.
"It's shut for good," I sniff slightly and rest my head back in the wall, "Too many debts and charges- I can't afford it" I sniff once more and I hear a small laugh from his side of the call.
"Min Yoongi can't afford a flower shop? That's rubbish" he laughs a little louder and I swallow, my mouth suddenly becoming very dry in comparison to the tears smothering my face.
"Its the truth Joon" I laugh slightly, joining him is ironic bliss as I run my hand through my hair, "The flower shop has officially ruined me"
"How much do you owe? I can pay for it" He sighs and I sniff loudly. He's pitying me- again. Trying to flaunt his wealth and be the knight in shining armour. But not this time, I'm not going to let him.
It's so embarrassing to have someone younger than you pitying you for something you did yourself. This is something I've done to myself.
"Too much to cover for a simple flowershop joon- I don't know how I'm gonna come back from this" I sigh a little angrily and he returns a frustrated one.
"Don't be upset Yoongi, this was gonna happen regardless of how much you tried" he tries to reassure me but it doesn't work. His smugness shows through his attempted caring words. He wanted this to happen, he wanted me to fail- he never wanted this to succeed. None of them did.
"I'll talk to you later Namjoon, I think I'm just going to go to sleep- I'll call you tomorrow okay?" I sniff loudly and he hums in response, "Don't worry about me Namjoon, I'll do what I needs to done" I don't give him a chance to respond and insteadjust end the call.
I shouldn't be crying, I should be trying to fix this. That's what she'd be doing. I need change, I can't keep living in this same meaningless circle. I need to do something about this.
I stand up from my sobbing sport and take a long, deep breathe.
I need to stop pitying myself, I need to remember why I'm still doing this.
My legs trudge over to one of the doors leading out of the main shop, one of the doors I haven't been in for many months.
Am I really this desperate?
Shakily my hands reach for the handle, pushing it down and the door open reluctantly. The smell of an un-fragranced fills my nose and calms my senses; the air a little dusty but more refreshing than the air thick with pollen behind me.
My hands run against the wall until I find the light switch. I turn it on.
The yellowing light illuminates the room and swallow. It illuminates the room she used to sleep in, the spare room in the shop we used to use incase we had to stay late to do paper work.
Incase she had to stay late and wanted me to stay with her.
My eyes glaze over the pictures and the books left abandoned on the small desk taking up half the room. All the forgotten memories lost in the depths of this room, the sleepovers, the games,
the love.
A second passes as I stand in awe at it all. All the special souvenirs she collected still in place as if she never left. But she did leave, and brooding over that won't help anyone.
I swallow again and step further inside, closing the door behind me and moving further into the room towards the minuscule bathroom attached to the room. The light switches on and my breath hitches once more.
Her shampoos, her towels. How haven't I been in here, how haven't I cleaned this out yet.
Stop it Yoongi, stop feeling sorry for yourself.
I shake my head and walk towards the mirror, my depressing reflection showing itself. I lean in closer, my dirty pores and dried skin being exposed in the surprisingly clean mirror.
'Small changes' the words almost make me scream, throwing me off center completely. I look around but I see nothing, it daunts on me that it's just another sad memory.
'Small changes will all add up Yoongi, just- just wait for the big things- but they will only come with small changes'
Her words of the past fill my ears and set my anxiety's to rest. I close my eyes, one more singular tear falling from my eyes and into the sink.
It would be better if she was here to tell me, if she could guide me away from my own demons.
Just on que, my phone goes off. I step away from the sink and slip it out of my back pocket, my eyes wiping my drying face as I read the text.
Jung Hoseok
Namjoon called me,
He said you we're considering of closing the store?
Min Yoongi
He can't keep his mouth shut.
Jung Hoseok
He means well yoongi
Min Yoongi
He means to annoy me in all accounts.
Jung Hoseok
So?
Min Yoongi
So what?
Jung Hoseok
Are you shutting?
Min Yoongi
Idk
I haven't decided yet.
Jung Hoseok
None the less,
I'm having a party later today, I want you to come
Me
A party? What for?
Jung Hoseok
Why not?
There's someone I want you to meet.
Me
??
Jung Hoseok
Just come
You'll see when you get here k?
Min Yoongi
What ever
I'll be there
A/N
This book is like my baby, and I love and cherish it.
But unfortunately although it's my baby who I try to look after, im a terrible mother.
YOU ARE READING
Flower Boy • myg
Fanfiction" Were you always like this? So cold and damaged? Or was there a time you cared about anything other than flowers? " " You know- Shit happens and people change " • Min Yoongi flower shop AU
