dissolve. ✓

SEVEN

the hoarseness of his own screams was almost pleasant after the slick sound of torn flesh that echoed through his dreams, the death rattle of a hundred friends or more as they piled up at his feet. jeongguk fought against the darkness that twined around his limbs like a physical force, the hands of him reaching out to strangle him, to drag him down into the river of blood that flowed from yoongi's open mouth as he lay dead in hoseok's arms, eyes glassy and empty and damning.

he fought and he kicked and he screamed, trying to get free, escape, drown out the noise of his creaking laugh in his ear, but the pressure on his limbs didn't disappear. there was a weight across his chest, steady and insistent, and warmth around his wrists that stopped his blows from connecting with anything. and when his voice gave out, screams giving way to raspy pleas, he heard a new voice, louder than the dusty mutter of demons in the dark.

"sh, sh, jeongguk, it's okay," it said. "it's okay, you're safe. you're fine, i've got you."

jeongguk clutched at the arm around his waist—not his arms like he had thought, or even him at all, or even his dad—and gasped in as much air as he could get, air that smelled like teenage boy and fabric softener instead of copper tang and acrid fear. the breath came out on a sob, harsh and violent and as sharp as the blade he had wielded with his hands, and taehyung tightened his hold.

"you're awake," he said, low and insistent, lips pressed right behind jeongguk's ear where he could feel the movement of them, feel the warmth of breath across his flushed skin, sheened with cold sweat. "you're awake, jeongguk, and you're safe. you're just in your room, ggukie. whatever you saw, it wasn't real. this is real, okay? i'm real and i'm right here. you're not alone."

another sob forced its way out of jeongguk's throat, this one of relief. his struggles slowed and then stopped, the rush of adrenaline leaving him shaky and dizzy, and it was all he could do to turn his head and bury it in taehyung's shoulder. taehyung let him burrow closer, shifted around so that he could pull jeongguk into his lap like he would a child, wrapped both arms around him and held on tight.

it was another minute or two before jeongguk realized that he was talking, babbling through tears he could never hold at bay after a nightmare like that.

"i'm sorry," he heard himself. "god, i'm sorry, i can't-" he said it over and over again, muffling the words in the thin cotton of taehyung's t-shirt when he found that he couldn't stop them from coming.

taehyung just rubbed his back, apparently unconcerned by the mess jeongguk was making with his tears or the vise grip he had on him, tight enough that it would leave bruises for days but probably not enough to really hurt someone who went through the trauma taehyung had.

"sh, jeongguk," he said again, reaching up to pet his hair. "it's okay. it was just a nightmare, but it's over and you're safe."

he was right, of course. there was no blood here, no bodies, no mummified corpse whispering taunts that invaded his mind. there was just his bed, comforter thrown off and sheets twisted and sweat-soaked, his desk and chair, posters on the walls and bookshelves full of knick-knacks. just him and taehyung, wrapped up together in the dark because jeongguk had lost his fucking mind over a stupid goddamn nightmare, again.

jeongguk tried to pull back, to peel himself away from the heat of taehyung's body and maybe preserve a tiny shred of his dignity—as if he had any of that left by now—but taehyung didn't let go of him. he just tightened his hold, one hand on jeongguk's waist and the other on the back of his neck to keep him where he was, and leaned in to rub his cheek against jeongguk's throat. it was a very animal thing to do, and surprising enough in its intimacy that jeongguk drew in a sharp breath.

this time when jeongguk leaned back, taehyung loosened his grip, though he didn't let go of him entirely. he kept jeongguk's hand, his own trailing down the length of jeongguk's arm to take hold of it. jeongguk stared down at it, squinting at the faint silhouette of their fingers tangled together on his mattress.

"sorry," he said again, sniffing, glad for the darkness of the room so that taehyung couldn't see what a wreck he was, red-faced and splotchy and gross. he ducked his head further. "i, uh. i probably should've warned you that happens sometimes."

taehyung squeezed his hand. "i figured it would," he said. "i have them too."

jeongguk looked up at him then, but it was too dark for him to make out taehyung's face. he pulled his sleeve down over his free hand and wiped it over his own cheeks, scrubbing at the wetness until his skin felt raw. his throat felt worse, like he had swallowed sandpaper; he was used to the sensation by now, but that didn't make it any less unpleasant.

"sorry i woke you up," he whispered. "it, uh, it won't be the last time. i'm sorry, i can find you a hotel in the morning, or maybe someone else has a room that you can-"

he tried to tug his hand out of taehyung's, to release taehyung from his stop-jeongguk-from-hurting-himself-in-his-completely-irrational-panic obligation, but he didn't get more than a millimeter before taehyung was rolling his eyes so hard that even jeongguk and his weak, night-blind eyes could see it.

"shut up, jeongguk, don't be stupid," he said. then he reeled jeongguk back in, pulling him flush against his chest and manhandling them both down onto the bed properly. "now go back to sleep."

within the span of maybe two seconds, jeongguk found himself lying on his side, under the covers, being aggressively spooned. taehyung was pressed up behind him from chest to knees, a sold and undeniably real presence, with his chin hooked over jeongguk's shoulder and both arms wrapped firmly around his stomach. jeongguk stared blankly at the wall for a moment, too exhausted and stunned to process it call.

"taehyung," he started, "you don't have to-"

"shut up," taehyung said again, gruff. "and stop apologizing. you don't have anything to apologize for."

jeongguk let out all his breath at once, the last of the terror-induced tension leeching out of his muscles until he felt boneless and sore all over. tentatively, his hand had found where taehyung's were linked together over his stomach, tracing the ridges of his knuckles. surrounded by the warmth of another body and with taehyung's heartbeat slow and steady against his back, jeongguk was starting to feel the pull of sleep again, which surprised him; he could never sleep after a nightmare like that, no matter how hard he tried. dreams like that were the reason he usually slept maybe twenty hours in a week these days.

but his eyes were closing, his thoughts going slow and fuzzy in a way that was pleasant instead of frightening for once. he let himself relax completely in taehyung's arms, let his thumb rub circles into the back of taehyung's hand, and muttered, "thank you," into the dark quietly enough that taehyung could reasonably pretend he didn't hear.

instead he got a quiet, "go to sleep, jeongguk."

and, by some miracle, he did.

—

I BLESS THE raiNS DOWN IN AAAFRICA

hello i'm back with another update bc i'm! impatient! i'm also in school and updating this during homebase from my school computer bc i'm a b a d . b i t c h
(i want... a tOfU sAlAd SaNdWiCh)