dissolve. ✓

FIVE

it took jeongguk another two weeks to work up the courage to actually make the call. two weeks of curious, impatient glances from jimin and waiting to get the same from the others even though he swore he hadn't mentioned it to anyone else. two weeks of his friends' vague concern over his new twitchiness on top of all his other behavioral issues, though no one bothered to ask directly. two weeks of checking his phone again and again to make absolutely sure that the number was still there, that he hadn't dreamed it up.

it came down to fear if he was honest with himself, which he had taken to being if only because he could never be completely sure that anyone else was at this point. he was afraid to call taehyung because what if he didn't have a matching name-mark? what if some celestial wires got crossed and taehyung was jeongguk's soulmate but jeongguk wasn't his and he told jeongguk to fuck off? or what if taehyung told him that he was still no-name and it turned out that they were both just so lonely and pathetic that it was all one long, self-pity-induced-delusion for jeongguk?

but he had to know. he needed to know one way or another or he would keep thinking himself in circles, drive himself even crazier than he already was, which he really couldn't afford to do with his grip on sanity tenuous at best these says. and wouldn't it be worth it in the end, if he was right? if it was true and he had a soulmate again, someone would could understand him completely, wouldn't that be worth any risk?

if taehyung matched, that is. if he cared. hell, maybe taehyung had noticed the mark change months ago and just ignored it because he was disgusted at the prospect of having jeongguk as his soulmate; they had never exactly gotten along before, were always at each other's throats, always fighting. but there was an equal chance that he had just not seen the new name-mark, like jeongguk.

jeongguk had his phone in hand before he could talk himself out of it again. his dad had just left for another back-to-back night shift—anything, apparently, to get away from his son, to get out of the oppressive atmosphere that had descended on their house—and he was sat on his bed alone, staring down the barrel of yet another night of finger-counting and over-thinking if he didn't do something.

he pressed the little green call button.

it rang for a worryingly long time, long enough for jeongguk to decide twice that he was going to hang up and then change his mind both times. by the time a familiar voice came over the line, jeongguk was considering throwing himself out his bedroom window and wondering if he would die or just wake up again.

"who is this? how did you get this number?"

taehyung sounded just the way he used to, snappish and demanding. jeongguk swallowed hard, all his words tangled up and lodged in his throat now that he had his opening. the hand holding his phone was shaking.

"hello? whoever you are, you shouldn't have this number," taehyung said. "if you keep calling, i'll-"

"i got it from jimin," jeongguk choked out because it sounded like taehyung was going to hang up and he would never be able to make the call again if he let that happen, he just wouldn't. 

there was pause where jeongguk held his breath and waited for the click of disconnect, but it didn't come.

"jeongguk?" confused, disbelieving.

jeongguk cleared his throat, gripping one of his pillows hard enough for an uneven fingernail to make a run in the fabric. "uh, yeah. yeah, it's me."

"why the hell are you calling me?"

jeongguk closed his eyes; now or never. "i need you to check your name-mark."

that statement was met with stunned silence. not unexpected, but not promising either. and it gave jeongguk far too much time to panic. he took deep, slow breaths to force it down; there was no reason to freak out just yet, none at all, no reason to-