dissolve. ✓

SEVENTEEN

jeongguk woke slowly, slowly enough to feel every part of himself metaphorically reboot and come back online one at a time until he was something close to fully conscious. it took several long minutes for him to recognize the simple fact that he had slept through the night. he had slept through the entire night without a single bad dream, hours and hours of uninterrupted sleep the likes of which he hadn't had in longer than he liked to admit. now he was waking up, for once, without feeling as though he hadn't slept at all, without the persistent dragging feeling of fatigue.

and he was so utterly, thoroughly comfortable, swaddled in blankets that were the perfect and tucked in just right to be snug without being constricting. the light from his window wasn't hitting his face yet, a dim enough glow against his eyelids that it couldn't be past mid-morning. there were birds chirping cheerfully somewhere nearby, the low rumble of traffic drifting up from the street, and his soulmate breathing softly behind him.

the warm puff of breath in his ear almost startled him; he'd never woken up with taehyung still there before. the previous three times they had shared jeongguk's bed, taehyung had always woken up before him and been downstairs making breakfast by the time jeongguk got up, but here he was, still fast asleep and wrapped around jeongguk like a clingy octopus.

very slowly and carefully—and with some measure of reluctance—jeongguk wiggled his way out of taehyung's grip, nudging at the arm around his waist until it finally gave up and retracted. when he managed to turn around, there was a pout on taehyung's face, like even in sleep he was offended that someone would dare take his teddy bear away from him, and jeongguk had to smile at that...and at the way taehyung immediately scooped up as much of the loose blanket as he could, hugging those to his chest in jeongguk's place. it was undeniably cute.

taehyung looked so much younger asleep, more like the seventeen year old that he actually was than the mature adult he tried so hard to be. without the haughty sneer he painted on for the audience, there was nothing to detract from the softness that lingered around his otherwise sharp facial features. the diffused light danced across his face, caressing the soft shape of his cheekbone, the angle of his jaw, the hollow of his throat, and jeongguk fought the urge to reach out and touch.

oh, but taehyung was beautiful. and like this, relaxed and unguarded, there was no trace of the terrible things he'd experienced, no mark to show that he'd suffered through and survived so much. jeongguk had to wonder if the same could be said for him, if in those few precious hours when his sleep was calm, something of his old, unmarred self shined through. he hoped so.

and he wondered if taehyung had ever had anyone to do for him what he was doing for jeongguk, if there had been anyone to talk him down from his nightmares and hold him until the panic had passed, to offer reassurances and support, to tell him he wasn't crazy and things would be alright. from what little taehyung had told him, it didn't sound like there had been. the thought made something in jeongguk break a little, that taehyung could have gone through all the same things he was but completely alone, without the meager comforts that were familiar surroundings and people who cared, all with that added burden of alienation that came from being no-name.

jeongguk couldn't help but lay a hand on taehyung's cheek, as softly as he could to keep from waking him. still, taehyung turned his head into the warmth of jeongguk's palm, the little upset crease between his eyebrows smoothing out into something more peaceful, like his soulmate's presence was a simple comfort in and of itself.

jeongguk wished he could have been there. they hadn't been soulmates back then and he wouldn't have understood like he did now, but jeongguk liked to think he might have been able to do something, anything at all to lighten the load. would he have been enough? probably not, he thought, but then even just a few days ago he had thought that he and taehyung would never work and yet here he was with more hope than he'd had in months. he wasn't fixed, not by a long shot, but the gaping hold that had engulfed his chest since he'd lost her, the one that had grown and twisted and darkened with every tragedy since, didn't feel quite so empty now.