stigma

|08|

The house was full of life, more alive than it had been in the past few months.

Music played softly from the speakers, and the sounds of people talking filled the house as Levi chatted away with Grandma and Mum. The faint aroma of traditional sweet dishes wafted through the house, and I inhaled its smell, closing my eyes and relishing it. The scent was homely, and set a somewhat familiar yet distant feeling washing over me.

I sat in my room, hair still wet after the shower. I watched as the sunlight poured in through the windows as the sun came up and inhaled deeply, smiling. I always felt this sudden, inexplicable euphoria when my family came home after a long time. It could be that I was happy to see a familiar face after so long, or because I just missed them so much. After being away for so long, I learned to adjust with the fact that people will eventually leave. But when they come back, it's just utter and genuine happiness and excitement.

The doorknob was pushed downward, and my attention snapped to the door. Levi poked his head in through the gap.

"May I come in?" he asked, smiling softly.

"Sure," I returned the smile as I nodded.

I watched as he made his way into my room, his tall silhouette looking foreign against my walls. His eyes scanned the room, taking in every corner as he made his way towards my bed and sat down. The bed dipped slightly as he settled in right next to me, both of us facing the window.

"It hasn't changed a bit," he exclaimed gently, the smile still on his face although it was affectionate.

"The room?" I asked, and smiled slightly as he nodded. "Yeah, nothings really changed ever since you left."

"I don't particularly know if that's a good thing," he laughed, "I still remember how tiny you were in comparison to that window."

I chuckled, glancing at the window, "Well, it has been nearly two years since you last came so obviously, I would've grown by then."

"You'll always be a shortie to me though, dumbass!" He laughs as I playfully shove him at that comment.

"One day I'll be just as tall as you, stupido." I exclaimed, crossing my arms playfully but laughing the same.

I missed our stupid bickering. It'd been so long, and I hated to admit it but I really did miss his presence. He was always the type of person to lift the mood and instil a sense of hope and happiness in a person. And to be honest, I felt a little lonely and hopeless ever since he left.

There was a brief silence, but not one that was uncomfortable. I could hear the birds chirping outside and a hen crowing in the far distance.

"So," Levi started, looking over to me, "how have you been?"

I could already get what he was asking without even the need to look over and read his expression. It was evident from his gentle and cautious tone, and the way his head turned over to look at me as he spoke. I could see from my peripheral vision that he was looking at me intently, waiting for an answer.

"I've been surviving," I replied, a wry smile spreading on my lips as I turned to look at him.

"No, I mean how have you been with all the-"

"I got what you meant," I interrupted, before sighing slightly, "Honestly, things haven't been the best. I feel more tired than usual."

"Is the medication not working the way it's supposed to?" he asked, his gaze worried and his voice tense.

"No. Apparently I'm supposed to be feeling this way when I don't take it regularly, which is something I've been doing a lot."

I looked at him. He wasn't looking at me anymore, instead staring at the floor. His forehead was drawn into a crease as he frowned thoughtfully.