Crack on Titan

The Gang's All Here

#01

In the year 850, Eren Jaeger has just become a cadet of the trainee squad, in hopes to serve humanity, become a member of the Survey Corps and kill all of the Titans-

Eren: TITAN-

SHUT UP, IT'S NOT TIME YET!

Eren: ;-; okay..

ANYWAYS, he will face the dangers of nature and the wrath of the Titans-

Mikasa: Isn't that a movie?

YES IT IS NOW STAHP AND LET ME FINISH THE INTRODUCTION.

Mikasa: Fine.

Eren: I liked the old Clash of the Titans better-

Mikasa: Oh my gosh, Eren, no one cares. This is why dad left us.

Eren: BUT MOM SAID HE LEFT BECAUSE OF WORK.

Mikasa: WELL, MOM LIED AND NOW SHE'S DEAD.

Eren: OAO

OH MY GOSH, YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW THIS, LET'S JUST START. GOD DAMMIT.

-At the trainee camp-

Eren: Holy crap I can't believe we're here! We did it Mikasa! Now I'll be able help humanity survive and seek the- *sudden dark voice * VENGEANCE *back to normal* against the Titans!

Mikasa: Hooray for you.

Eren: You know, Mikasa, maybe if you'd be a bit more enthusiastic, you wouldn't be the last of your race.

Mikasa: How can I be enthusiastic when I watched my parents be murdered in cold blood and then I watched YOU kill two men in cold blood and then you made me kill the third guy in cold blood?

Eren: ._.

Mikasa: T-T

Eren: Man you're a real buzzkill. ._.

Mikasa: *sighs*

Eren: LET'S LOOK AROUND! :D *grabs Mikasa's arm and starts skipping around with her*

-At the mess hall-

Eren: *o* This is where food comes from, Mikasa! FOOOOOOOOD.

Mikasa: Yes, Eren, food.

Eren: Awesome! LET'S CHECK OUT MORE PLACES! *drags Mikasa to other places again*

-At the training field-

Eren: *raises his arms up and his voice echos* THIS IS SO HUUUUUUGEEEEEE!

Mikasa: You know what else is huge?

Eren: GAGH MIKASA DONT MAKE IT GAY.

Mikasa: T-T

-At the cabins-

Eren: So this is where we'll be sleeping then.

Mikasa: This is the boys cabin, so I won't be in here.

Eren: WAT? O^O BUT I'LL BE SO LONELY.

Mikasa: Sorry, Eren.

Eren: Dammit! Who am I gonna talk to while I'm here?

Armin: *Guitar Hero slides into the room and speaks with a black voice* Sup, bitches?

Eren: Armin?

Mikasa: Holy crap we haven't seen you in years...!

Armin: Well, I would've been here sooner if my sentence wasn't added by another year...

Eren: Armin...what happened to your voice?