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*Freshman Year*
Terrified.
That's what Woozi felt as he looked at the large building. The building that he was going to spend the next 4 years going to. The same building that is already bringing him stress and anxiety. Teachers and new, as well a old students walk into the school with all the supplies they're going to need for the day.
Looking around, it's not hard to tell the group of people apart from others. There's the group of Jocks who are all sitting around the school and talking to each other, mimicking the ways they would shoot a basketball, dribble, some carrying a football in their hand, and others talking each other. They stood tall and confident. Then there were the cheerleaders. They don't have on their uniform of course but you could tell the way some gushed over the athlete and some looked as if they already felt like they were above everyone else. Then there's the nerds and the geeks. They stood with a decent posture, books in hand, most wearing glasses but not all, and they were all enjoying each other's company. There were also kids who didn't stand in no groups. Some kids just wanted to get in and out of school as fast as they can and some students didn't seem to care if they were late or not.
Woozi analyzed every student that stood before him, a bit intimidated. Most guys were taller than he was and had deeper voice than he did. Woozi felt a small squeeze on his hand, causing him to stop paying attention to the other kids around him and to the slightly shorter girl next to him. "Are you nervous?" She asked. Woozi shrugged, ignoring how he truly felt, trying to make himself seem more manly like the guys around him.
"Of course not." He said, confidently. "Why would I be nervous?"
"Because you're not much of a people person and this school is filled with more people than there was in middle school." She said.
"Yana, listen." He said turning the her. "These people are just here to fill space and ignore teachers. Not to intimidate me." Aiyana raised her hands in a surrendering manner with a small smile. She knew Woozi was intimidated a bit but she was just gonna let him put up his little facade.
"Okay, I was just making sure." Woozi grinned, knowing very well that Aiyana was bit worried. Which is why he does thee things. He'd prefer to attempt to hide his true emotions to make her worry less than to show how he felt and feel like a burden.
Woozi didn't like when people would ask him if something was wrong or to show pity on him. He didn't like the feeling of it. He believed that he should handle his problem on his own and if the problem was too big, he'd just ignore it and hope it went away soon. Although, he has had a couple slip ups when around his best friend. When she was feeling down and came to cry on his shoulder, he was there for support and sometimes couldn't hold in his emotions although he tries to be strong around her.
The close bond that they've had has lasted for a while and the closer they got, the more emotions Woozi felt. Those emotions causing Woozi's heart beat to increase more when around her, causing him to stumble over his words sometimes, getting sweaty a bit, getting nervous at moments, or simply becoming more protective. This all starting since the beginning of 8th grade. Woozi ha always wanted to voice how he felt. He always wanted her to be his and his only but things always got in the way. Whenever he got the confidence, she either doesn't show up, too sick, something bad happened, he gets interrupted, or the teacher silences him and threaten to give a detention for speaking too much. Either way, Woozi never gets the chance to say how fe feel, and after a while, he just simply gave up and just hoped that maybe one day, she'd just confront him first and say what was on her mind instead of the other way around.
"Pay attention!"
"Huh-" Before Woozi could stop in his tracks to pay attention, the wall collides with his body, causing him to halt. He groans at the pain that's now in his face and Aiyana sighs.
"Why do you keep doing that?"
"Doing what?" Woozi asks, holding his nose and stepping away from the wall.
"Zone out." She says. "You've been zoning out a lot lately and nearly every time, you end up hurting yourself."
"I don't zone out. I just think."
"You were doing a lot of thinking with that wall." Aiyana says. Woozi glares at her and she just laughs instead of apologizing to him. "You should really watch where you're going."
"Okay mother." He says dramatically. Aiyana rolled her eyes , and looks at her phone.
"School is about to start, I need to find my locker." She informed. Woozi agreed and they split ways, in search of their new lockers for the year.
Woozi shuffles through the hallway, bumping into plenty of bodies through it. Some just standing in the middle of the hallways for no reason, others were going terribly slow, so he was a bit irritated with some of the highschoolers already.
When finally getting to his locker, he takes off his book bag and looks through it. He grabbed all his supplies and was about to zip up his bag before he suddenly remembered. "My book." He reached into the bag and pulled out the black book.
His journal.
The journal that carries his entire life.
The journal that has all his feelings and deep thoughts written on paper. He never let anyone, not even his closest friends nor family touch or even look at the book. No one has seen it and hopefully no one ever will.
He hugs the journal tightly along with his other book and starts to find his class.
