Now it's 8:16 p.m. and I'm a bit peckish. I go to my local Cafe Rio; and as expected, it isn't as popping as lunchtime, because it's 8:16 p.m. and people usually can regulate when to consume nutrients.
In front of me is a posse of middle aged women and a man and his son. A couple files in behind me, and begin conversing about what they were gonna share. Why would anyone share Cafe Rio? The two men left; and little did I know they were the last civilized humans I'd see for a while. I could hear the women's chattering.
"My butt is sooo small and flabby!" "Oh shut up, Nicole! Your ass is toned!!!"
The burrito wizard asked what the first one wanted.
The worst words I've ever heard.
"HI CAN I GET A SALAD?"
I shudder. I look behind me; and the couple is eating each other's faces.
Right in front of her salad?!?!
"Do you like avocado?"
"Only sometimes"
"Mmm mmmm kissing noises mmmm you taste like my ass"
"I know that was my appetizer mm"
"Eew no that's too much salsa you underpaid working class man!"
My turn to see the burrito wizard as the women heck out for their FIVE SALADS.
He asks if I want chips, I say sure.
Then he belches out into song, "CHIIIIIIPS!"
He should join the opera.
I check out; the yelling of the couple saying
"WE WANTED A TOSTADA BOWL YOU UNDERPAID WORKING CLASS MAN!"
Needless to say; I experienced a brigade so basic I needed acid to neutralize it and it was also the day I watched the live action fifty shades of grey.
