Rose Petals

Chapter 29 - Part 1

It's been a week since Ashton had passed. The funeral is today. I had a black suit in my closet from a wedding I attended a couple years ago that still fits me.

I woke up this morning, the same time I've been waking up every morning. Before my alarm. Always waking up to the same dream. A dream that was better than my own reality. A dream where Ashton was still alive, and that we could say we loved each other any time we wanted, and delicately hold each other in a tight embrace for however long we'd like. And then, everything was perfect.

But when I'd wake up, I would be met by my dim lit room, a dark ceiling facing directly towards me. And then the joyous high I was living off of would crash, and I would be slammed with the suppressed feelings I'd been keeping inside for a week. Almost reminded, over and over and over again.

After the cops arrived at the scene, I was taken in for questioning. I told them that Ashton was someone I loved and that I knew of who was behind driving Ashton to suicide. None other than Nova.

They didn't go far with the case, though. They said it was an accident since the rock had broken underneath him. They had tracked down Nova, who had been questioned as well. He lied and scammed his way out of it with the help of his dad. I finally got to see what the man looked like.

He was tall with dark brown hair and piercing brown eyes like a hawks. He had a permanent frown on his face which didn't help the case. When he caught sight of me, he glared with a deep hate I could feel radiating from 8 feet away. He turned away, and walked out the station doors.

When the police descended down the mountain to find where Ashton had ended up, it took them 2 hours to find him. Apparently he fell and rolled down the side about 80 feet and then he hit a large tree, which broke his back.

When they'd gotten down to where he was, he was still alive only for a few seconds. Then he'd closed his eyes and his chest deceased to rise and fall. They had said there was a large blood trail leading to where his body had been, but the bleeding didn't kill him.

The impact from the tree did enough damage to kill him in 6 minutes. They got there just as he took his last breath. And they couldn't save him. Even if they had, he would have been paralyzed for life, they had said. I didn't know what I had wanted to hear at the time.

I wanted him to be alive, to experience the rest of his life, with me and Christy and everyone else that surrounded him. Then, on the other hand, I didn't want him to suffer. I didn't want him to have the struggles of not being able to move freely. I didn't want him to feel like he was trapped in his body, and then being overly depressed. That, in itself, would kill me.

In a way, I'm glad he doesn't have to suffer anymore. It just means I suffer more being alive without him with me.

But that's okay.

~^~*~^~

I opened the door to the black car while Christy did the same on the other side and stepped out. The breeze hit my face and ruffled my hair. I saw many grave stones, benches, trees, and sculptures in the vast flat area. I closed the car door, and felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked over to see Christy giving me a soft smile.

I'd told my parents what had happened, but they couldn't come out because they were in the middle of a job. I didn't bother any of my aunts and uncles about it, since they wouldn't care much about it. It was just Christy and I.

We walked towards a green tent, where there was a crowd of people, chairs, and a casket. When I got closer, there were roses all on top of the casket and different types of flowers and vines. I felt everyone's eyes on me as I got closer to the box. I ran my hand along the shiny brown wood, and cried.

"I love you." I whispered, so only I could hear the heartfelt words. I turned and walked towards the back row of chairs, then claimed one. Everyone began to take their seats, as a pastor started to preach about Ashtons life. Although he didn't know as much as I did.

Everyone started to give speeches about stories they had, things they knew about him, and time they spent with him. Soon, it was my turn.

Christy tapped me when I zoned out and I jumped a little, getting out of my seat and heading towards the front of the crowd. I took out a neatly folded paper from my pocked and read through it. Then, decided last minute, what I wrote wasn't good enough. I crumpled up the piece of paper and stuck it back into my pocket

"I met Ashton Cambrillo on a faithful day at school. If I'd never bumped into him, I would have never gotten to experience this life changing adventure he pulled me through." I started off.

"The thing is, I was blind to the signs. I was ignorant. And because of that, I blame myself for what has happened although deep down I know there wasn't anything I could do to prevent it. But the guilt will stick with me wherever I go." I looked down at the ground to try and compose myself.

"I fell in love with Ashton the first day I met him. I knew he was a tough cookie to crack, but I was up for that challenge. He was... perfect." I couldn't take my eyes off of the ground as I continued.

"I took him to a forest I'd always visit as a child, and ever since then it's been his favorite place. So many things in my life happened at that beautiful place." I trailed off a little and forgot what else I wanted to say. I walked back to my seat in silence as the next person went up to give their speech.

Christy gave me a worried glance, but I ignored her.