What if ?

OJ-Jack Daniel

It's exacltly been 5 months, 2 weeks and 6 days, meaning 172 days, he knows that because he's been counting the days since he made the worst mistake of his life. Looking up from his bed he can see the little calendar that he set up on his wall since that day. Crossing another day on it. Wonderful, he thinks bitterly.

That's when Fiona decides to enter the room.

"Hey, you're up ? You're doing okay ? Haven't seen you in awhile"

"Yea, I'm okay"

"You sure ? You seem a little tired to me. Did you take your meds ?"

And there it is, the question he knew would come.

"Yes, I've taken my meds for fucks sake ! Why can't I be down for a little while ? Why can't I just be sad for a little while ?" He asks feeling resentful.

At this point he felt trapped.

"I'm going out." he says while picking up some fresh clothes from the floor.

"Would you at least tell me what's going on ?" she asks with worry in her voice.

"No, I need to leave. He says while running downstairs ending in the kitchen.

"C'mon, you've been weird since you came back from that long shift. Did something happen ?"

"Nothin happened, I promise." He touches his face. "Look, I promise I will explain everything to you later. But for that I need to think straight. Okay ?"

"Okay"

And just like that he was gone. Leaving Fiona more confused than ever. Her Ian, that she pratically raised was now becoming a complete stranger. Guess I should have seen it coming, he was always secretive and the little he tell, he told Lip. Maybe I should give him a call then.

"Hey !"

"Hey Fi, you're okay ?"

"Yea, I'm okay." She sighs. "But I need to ask you something"

"Go ahead"

"Okay, do you know what's going on with Ian ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"It's just... He always looks so sad, like he just lost something important"

"You do know that Monica died right ? It could be some sort of fucked up grief. I mean he was always the closest to her."

"...Maybe you're right, but can you talk to him to know for sure ?"

"Sure"

"Okay, bye, love you."

"Love you too."

No way he was going to tell her the true. She just gonna judge him even more about how it was a terrible decision to have made in the first place.

A 40 minutes walk and that's how he finds himself outside of the Fairytale. His brain must hate him if it decided to come back here. Reminding him of the army, the mania, the drugs and...Mickey.

He decided to go in and sit at the bar, after all mabye he can find someone decent enough to fuck.

"What can I get you ?"

Ian looked up and saw a young teen, barely older than 15. That really shouldn't suprise him with everything he saw happening in this club. But it still did.

"An OJ-Jack Daniel please."

"Weird choice. I like it"

That Voice. He can recognise that voice anywhere

"Mick ?"

"Hey, Firecrotch"