The Runaway

13:// I Want You To Be Safe Again

I just sit here, and I wait for your call. I wait for you. But the phone never rings. Would you like to know why it doesn't? It's because you're dead. You're dead and I can't bring you back.

-E

.
.
.

"Hey Bea! I've missed you." I tell her with a smile. She smiles largely at me and springs into my arms.

"I missed you too. Don't ever leave again!"

"I wish I didn't have to, doll. Come on, your dad left for work, lets get you ready for the day. We're going to go to the park after lunch, and get some ice cream." I tell her. A smile spreads across her face. She takes my hand and drags me into her room. I help her pick out a cute little outfit, and then I check the time.

"Oh dear, you slept in late. It's already 11. Let's eat. What do you want?" I ask her. She thinks for a moment, tapping her chin. She's so fucking adorable!

"I waaaaant... Mac and cheese." She decides. I nod, and make a box for us. After we're done eating, I turn the lights in the house off and give her my pointer finger to hold onto when we begin to walk.

Bea is Danny's three year old daughter. She had been a born only a month after I had moved here, her mother died giving birth to her. Bea is beautiful, with a small and slightly pointy nose, platinum blonde locks that have gentle curls, and she owns a pair of sparkly blue eyes, and naturally red lips to go along with her perfect features. Along with that, she has perfect straight teeth.

We get to the ice cream stand, and she gets one of those ice creams that are shaped like a princess. I get the SpongeBob one because SpongeBob is fucking life.

We sit at a table next to each other, and eat. She talks about how she's in a pre-preschool thing, and that she's starting to learn things, like numbers. She counted from one to ten for me, and I clapped for her. After we're finished, she plays on the playground, and I hover closely by to watch her carefully.

She had been playing for about half an hour when I notice that Red and Ashton are standing together a little bit aways, Red pointing at me.

"Bea." I say. She comes up to me. I take her hand, my eyes locked with Ashton's. "We need to leave. Come on." I tell her.

She nods, okay with this, and skips along, her hand in mine as I walk quickly. Eventually, I pick her up and walk faster.

"Laila!" He calls out. I can hear him following as I walk faster away from him. Finally, I get to their house. I put her inside and am just about to close the door when his hand rests on it and pushes it, opening it.

"Ashton, what the fuck! Go away!" I hiss at him.

"Lai?" Bea asks nervously.

I turn to her, picking her up again. "It's okay, sweetie. Come on, I'll put a movie on for us. What are we thinking, sleeping beauty, Cinderella?"

"Moana." She says. I nod and put the movie on for her. I grab Ashton's arm and drag him into the kitchen.

"Who is that?" He asks. "Is that your..."

"No, oh my god, Ashton. I always use protection. Well, I didn't with you, but everyone else I used protection." I assure him. He looks relieved.

"I went to Red to find you. He showed me all of the places you would have been. They aren't... Nice or good. In fact, one of the people found out we were looking for you and asked if I wanted any coke to bring to you. He said it was your favorite." He tells me.

"Look, Ashton," I shut my eyes tightly for a moment. "I have done some things that I am not proud of, and that I wish I could take back, but I can't. In fact, one of the reasons Danny reported where I was finally, was because I overdosed a couple of months ago and he put me in a rehab center. When I got out, and had instantly gone back to alcohol, he decided that was it. Anonymous tip." I murmur quietly, not wanting Bea to hear.

"But coke? Hard drugs, are you serious?"

"You don't..." I sigh. "You don't know me, Ash. I needed a distraction from everything. I'm so fucked up mentally, I don't know if I'll be able to be brought back at this point. I love alcohol. I love partying. I love clubs. I love flings and everything bad. And yeah, I'm scared as hell for myself, but I think I'll be okay. I know how to handle myself." I tell him while cleaning a counter.

"From what I saw, you took really good care of Bea. You can be a mother, a great mom some day. But you can't be if you're doing things like this." He tells me.

"I know." I say, my eyes watering. I grip the counter, my knuckles white, and my hair covering my face. "And I want to be a mom one day, but I don't want to have a kid that says they have a fuckup mom. I know kids like that. Ones who tell of how their mom was always doing drugs and leaving for days on end and that's a reason they too started to get into things. It usually starts with a little weed, and then a little alcohol, and then one day they're stoned off their minds wondering why they did this. And then they keep doing it and they can't figure out why, other than the fact that it helps them to not be so sad anymore." I tell him. "And that's Elisia's sob story."

"I just... I want you safe again. You don't even have to be a great or good person again. But I want you to be safe." He tells me in a sad tone. I nod and then hug him.

He hugs me back. It's a hug I don't deserve, one that's warm and good, and the reason I don't deserve it is because I'm cold and bad.
___________

XoXo

-Elisia