The Runaway

18:// Hopes

I thought that I couldn't love Ian Gallagher more, until he was diagnosed with the same illness as me.

I loved Monica, because she was like me almost

But Ian is even closer. He's silent, sad, or he's happy, partying, doing crazy shit and I love it so much.

I was watching the final of season 5.

SPOILER

"Are you gonna want to be with me even if I don't? You used to love me. Now you don't even know who I am. Shit, I don't know who I am half the time. You don't owe me anything."

"I love you."

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means we take care of each other."

"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit."

"It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit."

"You gonna marry me? Are we gonna go down to the courthouse in some tuxes like a couple of old queens?"

"Fuck you."

"No, thanks. I've already done that."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Too much! Too much is wrong with me. That's the problem, isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"

Hot tears start rolling down my cheeks. Ashton glances over at me, watching my lips quiver.

"This is it. This is you breaking up with me."

"Yeah."

"Really? Fuck."

The rest of the episode continues, and it finishes just a couple minutes later. I press stop on the the autoplay and turn off Netflix. I turn off the PS4, pick up my phone and walk to my room. Ashton follows. He and I sit on the bed. I kick the door shut and push him onto the bed.

"Can you distract me?"

.
.
.

I rev my motorcycle happily. Dad had finally given it back to me. I think he was sorry about the whole, 'mom phsyically, mentally, and sexually abused me' thing.

"Hop on." I tell Adeline, passing her my spare helmet.

"Um. On that. That death trap."

"Addy, I've never crashed this once in my life." I roll my eyes. She takes the helmet warily. She puts it on and gets on behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Just go slow please." She says.

"It's more dangerous to go slow." I smirk, before driving. Adrenaline fills all of me, the wind whips and blows my hair behind me. Adeline's hands tighten. We drive so fast, we arrive at the school within 5 minutes. I park, take the keys out, and put the kickstand down. Adeline hops off and takes her helmet off. People are staring, wide eyes.

"That was so freaking cool!" She says, jumping slightly. I take off my helmet, and lock the motorcycle.

"You've always been an adrenaline junkie, I figured you would like it." I say. Ashton, getting out of his car, walks over and plants a kiss on my forehead. I fidget away from him slightly. He sighs.

"So," I tell Adeline, "I'm going out tonight. I want you to come with." I state.

"Where to?"

"Most likely my favorite club. It's called Karma." I inform her. She nods.