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April Powers Two Months Later
I sat in my old station at the shop, sipping on a cup of Hennessy and listened to everybody talk. It's been two months, my cast is off, I'm looking better but I don't feel better, even though I pretend to be.
Faking a smile has become very easy, saying 'I'm okay' just rolls off my tongue even though I'm lying. I thought that somebody would be able to see past this facade but, nope. I'm constantly being told I strong I am and how they don't know how I remain sane after this. All I do is smile and nod but on the inside I'm screaming help me, help me.
Last month, Keith basically forced me to deal with Kiara coming back around. I thought I would be okay but it hurt like hell. Hearing and seeing them bond just twisted the knife that's already in my heart. I shouldn't be jealous of their relationship, but I just wish that I could get the chance to watch my boys play with their dad.
Only in my dreams.
"Best friend, wake up over there!" Dion yelled. I looked and gave him my infamous fake smile.
"I'm not even sleep."
"You're too quiet for me."
"I'm sorry, I think this liquor hitting me."
"Turn up, it's your birthday in an hour!" He started twerking then came over to me and poured me a shot in another glass.
"Thanks D." I cracked a smile then tossed the glass back. The harsh liquid burned my throat as it made its way to my stomach. My head started to spin and I knew that I was a few drinks away from being drunk.
"Where's Keith?" Nique asked.
I rolled my eyes. "At home being father of the year." I finished the first cup of Hennessy I had then signaled for Jazz to give me some more. A few weeks ago, Keith was granted temporary full custody of Kiara. Since then me and him barely have time for each other.
"Is he doing anything for your birthday?" She continued.
I shrugged. "Don't know."
She finally caught on to my nonchalant attitude about the whole thing, so she stopped talking. I pulled my phone out my lap, hitting the lock button to see if I had any missed calls or texts, but there was nothing.
I put my phone back down and focused back on my drink. I looked at everybody enjoying themselves, as bad as I wanted to do the same I couldn't. For some reason I just felt angry.
I've been feeling angry ever since I heard the heart monitors for my babies flatline. Every time I close my eyes, I can just hear myself screaming. The nurses and doctors all looked defeated. I felt like I was in a nightmare.
A tear fell down my face and I wiped it away quickly before somebody saw.
Slowly getting out the chair, I grabbed one of the closed bottles of liquor and ripping the paper off the top. A cup right now was overrated. I wanted to be numb, I wanted to forget everything for a while.
