The Missing Pieces Of An All American Girl

Stolen Innocence

Chapter 21

The next time I opened my eyes, I was still confused, but I was completely aware of my surroundings. The moon was high in the sky surrounded by darkness. I was lying on a blanket in the grass next to the rocky river bank. My shirt was stretched beyond wearable condition and the drawstrings on my pants were loose. My hair was no longer in a ponytail, it was puffed out over my face and scattered over my head. There was a small, but warm fire surrounded by a few rocks from the bank. I remembered that Marcus was with me, but I couldn't see him anywhere in sight. I slowly made my way into sitting position to get a better look at my surrounding. Moving hurtled me a great deal; I felt like I hopped off a bridge and onto the rocky shore. Just as I was about to stand, Marcus appeared out of the woods with an arm full of sticks and twigs. "You're awake." he said with a half smile as he stooped down to place some sticks on the ground and a few into the fire. "How are you feeling," he asked after seeing the confusion on my face. "I...don't know," I managed to say. "What happened?" I asked. "Shakirah, you may be confused right know, but you will learn that I am only trying to save you from your own sins," he said before I interrupted. "What the hell are you trying to say?" I asked. I didn't know what had happened to me and my thoughts were fuzzy. Knowing that he knew what happened to me infuriated me especially since he would not get straight to the point. "Just let me finish what I have to say!" he pleaded. "I saw your text messages and you were contacting Jamie, Shakirah. If my dad would have seen that, he would have probably sent you back home considering the influence that these people had over you, My dad and Aminah have been so good to you, but in return you send explicit texts to the boy who nearly ruined your life. I had to do something to stop them from finding out and sending you back so I snuck into my dad's room and deleted all of the messages" he explained frantically. I knew that I had done wrong by talking with Jamie behind aunt and uncle's back so I had nothing to say to defend myself. I simply nodded to what he had to say. "But why do I feel so terrible and why am I aching? I feel like I've been ran over by a truck! And my hair was not like this!" I said with tears in my eyes after realizing he had said all he had to say. I didn't know why I was crying. "It's okay," Marcus began as he held my hand. "You are emotional and confused because of the medicine I gave you. I had to give it to you because I wanted you to be calm and relaxed," he said. "I tried to show you the love you sought from Jamie and I knew you wouldn't be okay with it if I asked you, so I gave you a mild sedative drug and I kinda...". Before Jamie could finish saying what he was going to say, I snatched my hand out of his and backed away with realization of what had had happened to me. Memories rushed to me quicker than I could think of them and I suddenly remembered what had happened to me. I starred at him wide eyed as my mind processed the entire situation. I gasped in disbelief at all of the thoughts and memories being thrown at me. "Don't overreact, it was for a good cause. I just want you to feel loved without turning to that boy," he said as he tried to hold my hand again. "Do NOT touch me," I shrieked in horror. My body still ached, and I was absolutely terrified of Marcus. Fresh tears burned in my eyes and this time I knew what I was crying. "Look, I am only trying to help you!" he shouted. "You are making this much harder than it has to be," he continued as he reached out and grabbed my arm. His grip tightened forcing me to wince in pain as tears began to flow more steadily. "I don't know why you are crying. I'm the same person I was earlier when we were sitting on the bank two hours ago," he said through clenched teeth as he pulled me towards him. I was crying because I felt defeated. I was crying because I was in pain mentally, physically, and emotionally. I cried because in my short life, another person I trusted and opened up to had hurt me. The hurt I experienced was different from every hurt I had experienced. I had always been the type of girl to flirt with boys and yearn for their attention, but I was still a virgin and that was all that mattered to me. As a young Muslim girl, I was always preached to about the importance of remaining a virgin until marriage. I was taught that my value would decrease if I showed my body to anyone other than my husband. If I had both shown myself and lost my virginity before marriage, then what was my value? As Marcus tugged away my underwear and joggers, I screamed and kicked, trying to escape his grip. He gripped me by my neck and shook me until my brain felt like jelly in my skull. "Be still!" he said roughly into my ear. I didn't care how God planned to stopped it, but I prayed for him to save me in any way he saw fit. Within those few seconds, I cried and prayed to God more than I had ever prayed. Suddenly, my prayers to God seemed as if they weren't being heard. Nothing was changing for me at the moment and I wasn't sure if anything was going to change for me in the future. I was tired of fighting and couldn't bear the thought of the cousin I had grown so close to, taking advantage of me in the way he had done. My tears and my prayers eventually stopped, and I starred at the moon not knowing what to think or feel.