Life poems

Stuck again

Something struck me out from the blue,

I was learning to smile, but I just felt a cold blow on my head,

I feel heavy all of a sudden, and now it's all turning to black,

I feel a dementor is trying to suck the life out of me,

My thoughts are twisting and raging along with the turbulent tides of emotions,

They all carry a tinge of darkness and they all want to shove me to the ground,

My head is spinning, as my energy leaks like water from a punctured cylinder,

The veins in my head are loaded with blood and threatening to explode,

I feel pain spike along the hemispheres of my brain,

And I feel I can't carry myself, I feel lifeless.

My thoughts are trying to throw me down by twisting my perception,

I am clouded in a mist, and I can't see properly,

My reasoning is cloudy and my thoughts are twisted and shady,

Doubts loom inside like a final assault to my internal structure,

And I fall down, and I fall down, and I fall, fall, fall,

 I said I can only handle so much,

Please understand, my own mind is digging my tomb,

And I can't quite figure out what to do to put an end to this torture,

It is pure torture, excruciating to the very end,

The list of contingencies seems already exhausted and the mask on my face is beginning to show cracks,

They run like rivers across my face, mirroring the damage inside my mind,

My skin turns dark around my eyes, like coal from the furnace of hell,

The heat is too overwhelming, like I said I can only take so much,

How do I move on, all the doors seem closed to me, there is a heaviness all around that's weighing me down,

I feel stagnated, and decaying, I am losing myself,

I scream for help as silently as can be,

My heart is resounding with a plea that my throat can't comprehend,

The voice loses its connection, and the message doesn't go through,

I feel lost and stranded, and abandonned in this icy cold darkness,

I kneel down and cry my fucking heart out,

But no cascade of tears won't help bring back those I've willingly cut from my life,

I bite the dust, and swallow my pride, as I crawl along the broken pieces of my foundation,

Where do I stand now, how to pull myself back together,

I look to the sky and scream my lungs out,

What should I do with my mind?

This struggle is shattering me to pieces.

Help me God.